My Father (85) lives in SC must live with family...me. My brother no longer can or will care for him. We are located in CO. My father has had 2 brain tumors removed when he was younger left him with some paralysis . He had a stroke 4 years age it affected the same side as the tumors. Paralysis is really bad. There were a couple of other health issues including heart attack diabetes and high blood pressure. 2 months ago he fell in the showed a the ER said he broke his ankle and sent him home A month later the Orthopedic doc said no he just irritated an old break. During all this time they kept him drug up and asleep. He in turn now has bed sores, no one in the house with him and my brother dos not want to care for him any longer. I do not know how to get him out here safely. With the amount of care he is going to need physically and emotional I do not see how I am going to be able to continue to work. I was wondering if there is anyway to be compensated for at least some of my time as I have bills to pay also. I operate a in-home infant toddler daycare so I may be able to work a par time but even that is difficult. Have tried it in the past when he has need major care.
It also sounds like he needs a great deal of care. People are not expected to give up their lives to care for a parent. If your dad has assets, it's probably time to consider assisted living for him. He may just enjoy it very much.
If he has few or no assets, Medicaid will step in assuming he needs nursing home care.
What state one lives in can make a difference. It's probably time for you to investigate what services are available for dad in BOTH stated. One may be very much different than the other.
If your Dad needs as much care as you say, maybe it time to have a family meeting about signing Dad up for Medicaid which will help pay for his stay in a continuing care facility, where he will have 3 shifts of Caregivers. Otherwise, you will be doing all 3 shifts with very little sleep. No wonder your brother can't continue to take care of Dad, he is exhausted. Everyone needs to think what would be the in the best interest for Dad.
Dad might enjoy being in a continuing care facility where he will be around other people of his generation... makes new friends, have new buddies to talk to, and if he is able go to the central dining room with all the other residents.