We cannot afford a NH. With what he has left, and what home sitters cost, what he has left will be gone quickly. What happens if my own doctor admits me somewhere for depression/exhaustion? I have no life left. No one to help me and we are sinking. I don't know what the point is anymore.
I think what needs to happen next is for you to apply for Medicaid for your father, and to find either more in-home care for him, or more likely a good dementia care facility. Or do those in the reverse order -- find a care center that will admit him "Medicaid pending" and help you through the application process.
You do not need to be able to afford a NH -- he does. And if he cannot, that is what Medicaid is for.
See how things work out once you have the maximum amount of help arranged. If/when the time comes that Dad needs to move to a care center, discuss with his case worker the transition to another Medicaid program.
You do not have to do this alone!