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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Depression era mentality, working spouse to death, farm equipment safety, unwilling to decide to retire, etc, etc? Can you share your challenges of that mindset?
Tough old Bird. Wants to die with his boots on. Pretty typical, sounds like my dad who preferred his demise to be shot by jealous young husband when he turned 90. Dad worked every day and dropped dead with a quart thermos of coffee still in his hand. Be happy if yours goes this way too. May you live so long and die so quick.
I saw on your profile that dad is in NH? I grew up on a small farm in WV. This is a description of my dad who's now 85 and finally slowing down, but until a year or so ago he would fire up the old chainsaw and cut wood. He has since given up most of his gardens, gave away the old ferguson tractor and doesn't do much scary farm stuff any more. I don't think its because he realises he has dementia, it's more like it takes too much effort and concentration to get the saw or the tractor started. He just can't remember how and moves on. His scary, crazy thing now is burning brush. OMG, but he stretches out the hose and can only make small piles now. Dad was a skilled electrician for 50 years, but now the simplest tasks can be baffling for him. Even with his dementia he still seems to have a basic self preservation instinct, but that could change for the worse.
People who are used to being very active need to remain so or they'll literally fade away. The trick is to find ways they can continue to be active, but not as much so, and with the assistance of another, without admitting that they're getting older (just as had for men to admit as for some women!).
Do you think your father would be willing to, for example, share his knowledge with a 4-H club, or young farmer, who could help with the chores? Approach it not so much that your father needs help, but rather that he has SO MUCH experience it would be wonderful if he could help an up and coming would-be farmer.
It could be a gradual shifting of work intensity, but your father could still continue to do what he's able to do.
Having been through this, I know though that sometimes men feel they can do anything and refuse to acknowledge that they're slowing down. It's hard to get them to accept they can still do a lot but help others and themselves simultaneously.
Assuming your father is in farming country, I'd check with scouting and 4-H groups to see if they could figure out ways to get training for their youngsters and members while helping your father.
The other aspect is that sometimes it's necessary to realize that these kinds of people just aren't going to admit to any slowing down and are going to push themselves until something drastic happens. The key then is navigating the recovery and reconciliation of health restrictions without becoming depressed. Unfortunately, sometimes people don't change unless they're medically forced to.
The Depression Era mentality is a different issue. Having lived through that, I don't think they'll ever get over the fear of deprivation again. It's hard for us to imagine how terrifying it must be to have no fuel and no food and probably no hope. I've eventually just decided it's not a challengable issue - there are bigger issues to battle.
Good luck; you're facing some tough issues, and probably a tougher father!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Do you think your father would be willing to, for example, share his knowledge with a 4-H club, or young farmer, who could help with the chores? Approach it not so much that your father needs help, but rather that he has SO MUCH experience it would be wonderful if he could help an up and coming would-be farmer.
It could be a gradual shifting of work intensity, but your father could still continue to do what he's able to do.
Having been through this, I know though that sometimes men feel they can do anything and refuse to acknowledge that they're slowing down. It's hard to get them to accept they can still do a lot but help others and themselves simultaneously.
Assuming your father is in farming country, I'd check with scouting and 4-H groups to see if they could figure out ways to get training for their youngsters and members while helping your father.
The other aspect is that sometimes it's necessary to realize that these kinds of people just aren't going to admit to any slowing down and are going to push themselves until something drastic happens. The key then is navigating the recovery and reconciliation of health restrictions without becoming depressed. Unfortunately, sometimes people don't change unless they're medically forced to.
The Depression Era mentality is a different issue. Having lived through that, I don't think they'll ever get over the fear of deprivation again. It's hard for us to imagine how terrifying it must be to have no fuel and no food and probably no hope. I've eventually just decided it's not a challengable issue - there are bigger issues to battle.
Good luck; you're facing some tough issues, and probably a tougher father!