I feel so lost that I do not know me anymore let alone act like myself, to point where I do not like me I feel I cannot find myself or do anything but st and now Christmas is here I feel horrible being feeling like a scrooge but HONESTLY CANNOT HELP IT I FEEL LIKE TAKING DOWN TREES THROWING AWAY AND WITH THE CLOTHES ON MY BACK NOTHING ELSE AND WALKING AWAY ON FOOT ANDE JUST KEEP WALKING AND NOT LOOK BACK I HAVE NEVERE FELT THIS WAY BEFORE.
Still you are overwhelmed. So for today, flip off the laundry, don't clean the floor. Call the Hospice nurse and tell them you need some RESPITE or a looney bin, their choice. Just do it.
Sandy-please reach out to anyone who can give you some relief and time off. I have been in your position and I can only tell you that you are not alone. Many of us have been there. While it does seem that things a hopeless and escape seems like the only option, know that a respite from the situation will give you some perspective. You desperately need a break. Try to find a way to get one. Your mom will be ok while you are gone. Call for respite care from a hospice and try to hang on until arrangements are made. Don't give up, what you are feeling is the result of being overly tired and feeling trapped in your situation. A break will give you the perspective you need to gain control of the situation and maybe plan for some regular help. I don't know whether that comes from hired help or a family member stepping up to help. Remember-you are important and you deserve better. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to go out and get it for yourself, it doesn't come to you without asking.
example of how things aren't so bad. I don't see the support or advice in those statements.
Sandy, I hear you. Caregiving is not easy. You are putting someone else's needs above your own while trying to live your own life. There is the worry & the stress. I am not going to confuse you with being cold-hearted. You are doing a selfless thing & I commend you. Now, you need to put yourself first. I would look into respite care. It's only for a few days but that may be all you need to recharge. Use that time to consult your doctor about how you are feeling because the situation you are in is not going to get better. There are also local agencies that can provide you with extra care & relieve some of your burden. Also, you need to find something in each day that is about you & only you. That could mean joining a gym, going for a run, taking a walk, yoga, just something you enjoy & the focus is only about you. Sandy, please know that you are not alone & it will end. You will come out an even better person.
Here is my brief story about going to a therapist, a licensed clinical social worker. He was so experienced, he had see it all before, my story (which was really out there) didn't faze him in the least. He gave me so much good advice, and so much self-confidence. Thanks to him, I was able to take rather spectacular action that I have never regretted. I had only one question: why did I wait so long? Why didn't I do this twenty years ago? I still see him whenever things get weird. We are good buddies and he always helps me.
So, I would say to anyone: Don't wait! Don't do what I did. Go get help NOW!
I ask because since I've been here with Mom (11 years and counting), I've become depressed Thanksgiving through Christmas and then feel anxious (more so than usual) the next couple of months after that. Don't know why exactly but it may be related to family visiting and money worries.
The thing is that caregiving for a 96-year-old dementia patient at high risk of falling keeps me just at the edge of my tolerance. Then when something else happens -- such as visitors, holidays, unexpected expenses, etc. -- I get pushed beyond what I can stand.
This year, with those past experiences behind me, I've done better at recognizing the desperate feelings when they come up. I remind myself that these feelings are mine and have nothing to do with anybody else. Life happens and I'm in control of how I react to it. (This is a work in progress.)
Perhaps time will make you better able to cope. Meanwhile, definitely seek a diagnosis, counseling and medication. Experimentation may be necessary to get the right mix of drugs so please be patient. Blessings to you for quick relief in the current crisis. Please keep us posted.
Contact your doctor for medical support and know people care about your well being...peace...happiness and life.
For now, take one day at a time.
Blessings to you. Please know you are gonna be alright.
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