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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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The stories of two families that come to mind, neither of them related to me.
In the first a neighbourhood couple shared a room at the nursing home for several years, she eventually became totally bedbound but he was still somewhat mobile, both had cognitive deficits. I was told by a family member that one day he became enraged that his wife wouldn't get out of bed or acknowledge him and he became violent toward her, staff didn't know what was going on until they did a routine check.
The other couple lived at my mom's nursing home. He had dementia and was a wanderer, I never knew why she needed that level of care because she "seemed" fine (but since she predeceased him obviously wasn't). The problem with this couple was that she was exhausting herself trying to get him to behave, trying to continue as his caregiver. Eventually the family had them separated.
I'd be wary of doing that. My mother was originally in skilled nursing (because I didn't know the difference at the time), and she darned near perished from neglect, if you can believe it. She wouldn't eat in the dining room because everyone else in there was stroke patient being fed or dribbling food all over themselves, and there were no stimulating activities geared toward dementia patients, so she just stayed in her room largely alone except when her meals and meds were delivered.
Memory care is very different treatment than skilled nursing, and much as you'd like the two of them to be together, one will suffer for the lack of their type of care. I'd check very carefully on any place that offers two levels of care in one room to ensure one person isn't getting the short shrift.
You would need to find a facility that offers both. Where I live the NH facilities only offer rehab and skilled nursing. The one AL we have offers MC but not skilled nursing. Then we have a community that has independent living, assisted living and Skilled nursing all in the same community. You maybe able to find a skilled nursing facility that will take someone that needs MC and will allow the couple to stay together. But don't think its going to be all that much cheaper. In NHs fees are based on 2 people to a room. So they get 20k a month for one room.
Years ago, I volunteered with hospice and one of my patients lived on the memory care unit of this facility, and his wife lived on the skilled nursing wing of the facility. Because all memory care units are kept locked for the patients safety, they would not allow them to live together in the same unit, however, every afternoon, they would bring the husband to his wife's room, where they were able to spend several hours together, and when the wife wanted, she was able to go into the memory unit as well. I don't know if things have changed since then as that was about 10 years ago, but being that the care required for both are very different, it may not have, as a facility has to do what is best for their patients.
I would think it matters if the one needing MC wanders or would forget who their roommate is to them and perhaps become anxious or violent or constantly pester the other. It may “work” this month and not the next.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In the first a neighbourhood couple shared a room at the nursing home for several years, she eventually became totally bedbound but he was still somewhat mobile, both had cognitive deficits. I was told by a family member that one day he became enraged that his wife wouldn't get out of bed or acknowledge him and he became violent toward her, staff didn't know what was going on until they did a routine check.
The other couple lived at my mom's nursing home. He had dementia and was a wanderer, I never knew why she needed that level of care because she "seemed" fine (but since she predeceased him obviously wasn't). The problem with this couple was that she was exhausting herself trying to get him to behave, trying to continue as his caregiver. Eventually the family had them separated.
Trying to get him to behave, yeah, that wouldn't work no matter where one lives.
Memory care is very different treatment than skilled nursing, and much as you'd like the two of them to be together, one will suffer for the lack of their type of care. I'd check very carefully on any place that offers two levels of care in one room to ensure one person isn't getting the short shrift.
People who need memory care
I don't know if things have changed since then as that was about 10 years ago, but being that the care required for both are very different, it may not have, as a facility has to do what is best for their patients.