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My husband is in assisted living for 4 years for Parkinson's & bipolar disorder. I have been in counseling for the past 4 years to learn to disengage myself so that I can take care of myself. I have fibromyalgia with chronic fatigue. Today I am too tired to even get dressed and when I phoned my husband to tell him I wouldn't be able to bring him for a few hours, he cried like a baby. I finally had to hang up on him because he just wouldn't stop begging. He doesn't seem to understand that I have my own health problems that I have to deal with no matter how many times I tell him.
Does anyone out there have a similar problem, and if so, how do you deal with it?

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Maybelle - As a nurse and person with Bipolar Disorder, I would much rather have my diagnosis than yours. At least my lithium keeps me stable, but what you are describing with your husband seems to indicate his dopamine med for his Parkinson's is interfering with whatever he is taking for bipolar. The crying is likely the depressive cycle, and the dopamine could be lowering his serotonin levels. Have both his doctors (unless only one is treating both conditions) aware of his behaviors and how they affect you. We cannot do anything for you, but both of your doctors can help each of you deal with each of your own conditions. My best to the both of you!
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Thank you 1tired for validating what my 47 yrs. research and having this disorder has found. One cannot drink alcohol or take illegal drugs further throwing a wrench into the brain's chemistry. All of us take our brain's for granted until it becomes robbed of memory. Also, EVERYONE has some varying degrees of manic depression (bipolar disorder), so those of us with it cannot be blamed for every relationship that sours. Fortunately for me, my husband was married to a woman with schizophrenia, so when I told him I had bipolar disorder, he thought that living with me would be a piece of cake! We will celebrate our 28th year this month.
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well im drinking everclear and ice water this evening. BP aint got a chance.
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Well Capn, I worked in a behavioral health unit for a lot of years. BPD is a disorder of brain chemistry. The substance abuse is usually someone trying to fix their feelings with drugs or alcohol. I was lucky enough to be able to start a support group at our hospital for those co-occurring illnesses. I think that Ferris is correct about the Parkinsons meds. I too had a ex with BPD and firm boundaries and being sure that the meds are taken AS PERSCRIBED are critical. Be sure to take care of yourself first, like they say on the airplane :) Hugs!
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Ferris1, wonderful posts. I am so glad you have found a good medicine to help you with your disorder. I have OCD and like Bi-polar have learned it is a brain issue. I need to take my own meds and , yes, I finally realized I cannot drink.

I think that people with mental disorders are responsible for their own health and well being. They need to keep up on their meds and doctor visits but even then episodes can happen. I know how exhausting it is to deal with a person with a mentla illness- but please know it is still an illness. BUT that does not mean one should enable the afflicted person. It is a fine line of compassion and enabling. My husband and I struggle with this ourselves. Sometimes it is easier to enable my fears than not. ---

Good luck to you , Maybelle and your husband. You both have a plate full. Day by day. Sometimes that is all that gets me through things ---by taking it day by day.

Blessings to you and your husband.
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My personal battle although I am the strongest healthiest person in my family and always have been, Is I live in fear as well of becoming as ill as they all had been....I find I do have a certain level of depression I live with but not much manic behavior as I have grown up witnessing...I do good enuf to get by but not well enuf to flourish to my full potential. I do feel the depression is embedded in me genetically from both parents. since caring for ma has factored into a lot of my issues and what I call my caregiver coma.... Thanks for letting me share!!!!
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For those of you ignorant about lithium, I should have clarified that it is lithium carbonate, not the lithium for batteries. Since I drive a new Sonata Hybrid, I also carry a lithium battery in my trunk. Never can be too careful!
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Hi Maybelle, welcome to AC! By the way, if you want to learn a person's background information (like who they're caregiving for, etc...) just click on their name. When you do, you can see their "profile."

When you want to give them a HUG, you can do it like on this thread, click "GIVE A HUG." You can also give them a HUG by clicking on their name, and give it in their profile.

If you just want to comment and NOT HUG, then click on their name, type your comment on the box and hit SUBMIT.

If you're looking for a Specific Topic, there's the search engine on the TOP RIGHT corner, type the specific words and it will bring the threads on that topic.

If you commented on several threads and want to know the latest or last comments made on each, you see that box on the top right that has MY ACCOUNT? Click on the NEWS FEED. This NEWS FEED will give you the latest comment on the threads and the latest person who LIKED your comment. So if you made one comment: Caregiving is so stressful. The last person to hit the LIKE button will be the name on your NEWS FEED on that person liking your comment. Hope this helps you!
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My Father was a full blown bipolar alcoholic...Both brothers are also undiagnosed but suffering from major problems are no longer present in our family due to disruptive harmful behavior....I am still healing n dealing with the aftermath of this life. It is a terrible disease as well...all I can say is if he in a facility he is safe...we could not get control of my father and in a nutshell overmedicated and died six weeks later of his lithium toxicity! So losing track of your question just want to commiserate with you.... living with a bipolar is a similar hell to caregiving! I pray for you and all goes well!! Hugs!!!!
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In fact my dad's illness bankrupted our family several times over, and is directly responsible for mom being left in this condition...unprepared for elderlife, nearly destitute! And certainly taught us kids poor life skills....esp with money, that are still haunting me n my life!! It makes me angry to talk about it now.....
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