My mother's behavior is getting even more erratic. She has a lot of problems with anger. I'm concerned that her behavior might eventually get her booted from the ALF. There's a lot of issues at play, including mental health and possibly drug reactions, so it seems like a psychiatrist might be the go-to person for this. There are like 2-3 geriatric psychiatrists in the entire state of Colorado so I'm conflicted. Any thoughts?
When these types "have all their buttons," they can suppress the lashing out. No audience = no feed. They take (some) care not to scare away their flatterers....and the poor souls whom they "enlighten" with their tales of woe. Once impaired reasoning sets in, the stuffed-down resentment sometimes takes center stage. Decades worth of bile and rumination just.....pop out.
My mom always had a "yes but" for everything. Now that her mind and body aren't what they used to be, the gloves are off. She's not a full-time rager. But she can go from zero to screw-you faster than the speed of light. Her brain can't concoct the her spin as swiftly as it did back in the day. But she's still right all the time -- and sometimes makes her point in a way that's all mouth and no manners.
You should certainly get your mother's med list and review it with her MD or a psych. (I hear ya on the paucity of geriatric psych specialists. Only a sprinkling of them in my state, too.) I agree that she may need a fine-tuning of existing meds, or the addition of something.
One last thought. This behavior that you fear might get mom kicked out of AL: Has the AL staff or management approached you with concerns about her outbursts? Have mom's fellow residents mentioned these outbursts to you? It's important to determine if this is truly mom's new "normal"......or if she's reserving her sh*t fits exclusively for you.
Good luck. This stuff is so draining. I try really hard to see my mom as more than the sum of her flaws. But most of the time, she doesn't give me much else to go on. Sounds like you can relate.
Often the patient may need medication to address anxiety, depression, etc. I'm not sure they medicate just if someone is mean or manipulative. I would certainly explore medications that might help your mom feel better. I think that psychiatrists may be of assistance, but other doctors may prescribe meds as well.
Is it feasible to get her to a geriatric psychiatrist? If you can't, then go with the best you can.
I guess that doctor we had who originally prescribed Cymbalta for my cousin was a lucky break. It was the first thing she tried and it worked like a charm. It's for depression, anxiety and pain. She had all three. We saw such a difference in her. It is monitored and if things change, we'll have her evaluated.
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