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My wife has Alzheimers, but she still likes to go out for a meal. She needs help in going to the bathroom and the occasion hasn't arisen yet, but how do I approach the restaurant staff to go in the female bathroom to assist her? I am thinking this is the same as a physically disabled person needing help with that function.

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That's a tough question! I would scope out your favorite local resurrects and stick to those that have either a separate handicapped accessible stand alone restroom OR unisex stand alone restrooms, one with a single toilet and washstand, as opposed to a communal (many stalls).
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Restaurants not resurrects
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Alternatively, you could ask the staff to barricade the restroom, while you assist her.
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People are kind. Just ask. Everyone has parents and grandparents who have problems. Explain what she will need, or just go in yourself and explain. Trust some woman is or has been a caregiver, and will spot your predicament, and help you. If they don't shame on them, I think your a wonderful man to take such good care of your wife. Good karma gets rewarded.
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If there is not a single bathroom and my dad needs help i take him into the ladies room. Womens rest rooms are much more private then men's. Tell the staff what you need to do and ask that someone stand at door and let those know you are in there helping your wife. I have come across no issues with this. I commend you for thinking about this in advance 😊
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Asking the waitress to tend to her in the bathroom is not a good idea. They are handling food and I think the health department would frown on bathroom duties. Perhaps you could take her aide along with you?
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I don't know what you mean by help her in the restroom. I wonder if the staff would be able to accommodate you. There are all kinds of issues, including liability if she fell. If I were on a job and asked to assist a handicapped person by pulling their pants down, adjusting their clothing, I think it would make me feel uncomfortable. I think it's too private.

I think I would go with the suggestion above about asking for a private bathroom where you can go in and help her uninterrupted. Some places have a handicapped separate toilet in it's own room. I might call around and find a few like that so you know before arriving.
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*chuckles* as added incentive to the restaurant, if they balk at helping to secure the room while you're in it, you could always remind them of the alternative (a mess at the table). Tho .. you might not be welcome a second time.

(Going for a bit of humor, here .. no offense meant)

LadeeC
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I often traveled with my parents, and the staff was always wonderful and accommodating whenever I asked them to first check out, then stand guard while I assisted my Dad into either the Men's or Womens restroom when a Handicapped or private one wasn't available. Just ask, it is their duty to your patronage, and they will always be understanding and helpful!
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