Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Caregiving is a long, difficult road, and we’re happy you have found the support of others here on this site. It’s important to foster an open and honest dialogue about mental health issues like depression and suicide. However, there are limits to what untrained members on our site can provide.
Please reach out to experts for additional support and the help you need by calling the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
Hi, Jada. I'm no longer a full time, live in caregiver to my grandmother and dad, but starting down that caregiving road was the most stressful thing I've ever experienced right from the beginning. My grandmother passed and then I was left to care for my father who had some medical crises over the next several years. From about 2 years into caregiving until the end of it, I was very depressed and thought often about ending my own life, OR... I thought about killing my father... because I saw him as the source of all my problems at that time.
It's irrational thinking, and I realize that now, and even realized it then to some extent. But the STRESS that comes with caregiving to others can wreck our brains. Caregiving is a one-way emotional drain most of the time. You're giving, they're taking, day in and day out. If you see yourself as "stuck" in a caregiving situation, of course you're going to feel depressed and hopeless at times, if not all the time.
Is there any support around you who can help in the form of family, good friends, your church, anything...? Can you get an appointment with a therapist or a psychiatrist to discuss how you're feeling?
I remember feeling so desperate. I'm so, SO very glad I'm not still in that spot, as my caregiving situation has resolved and I'm back to my own self-focused life again. You need help, dear. Call your best friend and get some emotional support, make an appointment with a doctor, and come here on Aging Care and find support threads to get involved in, if you want. People here get what you're going through and want to be supportive of you.
Every day. I think about jumping in front of one of the big trucks from the local turkey farm so at least they can finally get some $$$$ out of my death, since he thinks I’m a gold digger. He’ll only stop abusing me when I die, and if he can get some money out of me all the better. Sometimes I think about jumping off the bridge right outside the farmhouse in the creek. I’d just splat on the rocks and someone else would have to clean up the mess for a change.
NoMore, can you reach out to someone about the abuse you are suffering? Could you call the police, or call a battered women's shelter? We all have low moments, but no one should be thinking of suicide every day.
How? I can’t get a better job because the minute every employer has learned that I am currently a family caregiver they don’t hire me. And I would have to find someone else who she’d want to provide care when she says daily she doesn’t want anyone else but me. She is stuck in the 1950’s and thinks I should depend on her son for everything.
I’m tired of life.
i don’t have anyone else and I don’t have anywhere else to go.
Everyone says JUST LEAVE and it’s really not that simple.
That is so weird I came across this post today of all days. I was actually thinking to myself - maybe I'd be better off dead because all I can see is a very long road ahead and no support (or hardly any) from family and I'm single. I have quite a few friends but I can't burden them. I'm just so tired of it ALL! I want my life back and feel like most of it is GONE as I'm 58. My mom is not senile and can still drive so yes I'm luckier than most but she really could live to be a 100. I'm tired of her depressive moods, her anxiety and her doom and gloom. I pick up her negative energy and lately feel bummed out myself. No I'm really not suicidal but sometimes I do have dark thoughts. I think well this is one way to make my brothers step up to the plate. They go on about their lives - take trips, are retired. Nope I'm working full-time, single homeowner and now she's back..living with me for the 3rd time. It was supposed to have been temporary while she got on the waiting list for an apt. That was a LIE! She NEVER signed up. :( She is a cling on and gets in my business! My resentment grows worse by the day. My brother is coming to pick her up and I'm looking forward to freedom, privacy and some time to myself. The holidays this year were so depressing. Just me and mom and she was somewhat under the weather - which was gloomy. No one came to visit. I HATE this life sometimes. Thank you for listening.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Depression can happen with caregivers, but suicidal thoughts are not a thing to ignore.
Please seek help now!
Caregiving is a long, difficult road, and we’re happy you have found the support of others here on this site. It’s important to foster an open and honest dialogue about mental health issues like depression and suicide. However, there are limits to what untrained members on our site can provide.
Please reach out to experts for additional support and the help you need by calling the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
Take care.
It's irrational thinking, and I realize that now, and even realized it then to some extent. But the STRESS that comes with caregiving to others can wreck our brains. Caregiving is a one-way emotional drain most of the time. You're giving, they're taking, day in and day out. If you see yourself as "stuck" in a caregiving situation, of course you're going to feel depressed and hopeless at times, if not all the time.
Is there any support around you who can help in the form of family, good friends, your church, anything...? Can you get an appointment with a therapist or a psychiatrist to discuss how you're feeling?
I remember feeling so desperate. I'm so, SO very glad I'm not still in that spot, as my caregiving situation has resolved and I'm back to my own self-focused life again. You need help, dear. Call your best friend and get some emotional support, make an appointment with a doctor, and come here on Aging Care and find support threads to get involved in, if you want. People here get what you're going through and want to be supportive of you.
Please keep us updated. You matter.
I can’t get a better job because the minute every employer has learned that I am currently a family caregiver they don’t hire me. And I would have to find someone else who she’d want to provide care when she says daily she doesn’t want anyone else but me. She is stuck in the 1950’s and thinks I should depend on her son for everything.
I’m tired of life.
i don’t have anyone else and I don’t have anywhere else to go.
Everyone says JUST LEAVE and it’s really not that simple.
Please call 911 and tell the operator you are suicidal and need help.
You do not have to care for your mother. You have the right to a happy healthy life of your own.
No it is not simple to 'Just Leave' but it is imperative that you get help for yourself.
As long as you allow yourself to be victimized, this will continue. Haven't you done your part? Now it's someone ELSE'S turn.