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My Grandmother has severe dementia and living in a memory care facility. She continues to call her personal attorney multiple times a week. He continues to bill her for each of these calls sometimes hundreds of dollars a week.
Do you know the substance of these calls? And are they legitimate or does she just need someone to talk to?
I think I might contact the attorney and raise the issue of a possible segueing from providing advice to providing consolation, and the prohibitive cost.
I do think it's important to learn the nature of these calls, and not consider taking action against the attorney (as I suspect will be suggested in the responses to your question). Filing charges with a bar association or taking other action could jeopardize both your GM's needs and the attorney's standing. And it may be that the attorney is providing comfort and support that your GM really needs.
And what other sources does she have to discuss anxieties or fears? In the Indiana Jones style, before you remove something, find a replacement. If the pandemic weren't governing closeness, you could visit her more often. If you're not close, send her cards, to let her know she's being remembered, and help redirect her attention and reliance away from the attorney.
I recently read of groups that do provide this kind of support for people in either AL, IL or MC, but I don't have a citation or link to that article, or if I do, I just can't find it right now.
Sometimes school children make cards and let the MOW service deliver them to shut-ins; there might be a group or movement that does this for MC residents.
She has the type of dementia that she doesn’t believe she has anything wrong with her and she tries to contact her attorney to get her out of the memory care facility she is living in. Multiple of the bills he has sent have been for lengthy calls. He knows her diagnosis and her living situation. Starting to feel very sketchy.
Is your grandmother demented? Are these calls without reason? Have you spoken to the attorney about the dementia and the need to take calls on only a limited basis. That is to say, does your grandmother have a sound mind and is she doing business with this attorney? Because you have no right to interfere in the actions of a person you are POA for. In fact, your DUTY is to assist the person to do the business they are attempting to do, and to do it with them. If grandmother is of sound mind sit with her and explain the costs of her attorney; show her the bills you are paying. For my brother I gave him a monthly accounting of his money in and his money OUT, and he has a looseleaf binder he kept this in. Most elderly women hate losing money. Tell her to get her attorney needs together and you and she can make a monthly call to do what business she has. If you grandmother has dementia then take these papers to the lawyer and pay 350.00 of grandmother's money to sit with him or her for an hour and work out how to avoid all this. But no, unless YOU are now completely in charge of an incompetent person (in which case you can fire a money-grubber of any profession and hire someone better with reasons documented by certified letter) you cannot fire Grandmother's Lawyer. If she is competent in any way she has a right to change wills, POAs and all else.
Sorry, I forgot to address your specific question. What does the document provide? Does it specifically allow you to engage in legal activities on behalf of your GM, and what are the restrictions? Again, I think you need to determine the basis of this contact and whether or not it's legal or something else entirely (such as loneliness) before taking action, and I definitely would contact the attorney first. It's only common courtesy.
I would say yes. She no longer can handle her personal life. You are her representative and in charge of her finances and her calling him is a drain on her resources.
I would write a letter to him stating as her POA that you are discontinuing his services. I would enclose a letter from her doctor, hopefully a neurologist, explaining that your POA has been invoked because his client suffers from Dementia and can no longer make informed decisions. You can go on to say that the billing from his office for the calls she makes to him are draining her financial resources that you are responsible for. You hope that he/she understands your situation and when/if she calls again would his office staff be so kind to tell her that he is unavailable and he/she will call her back when its convenient.
Now, if she needs this lawyer because he handles trusts, wrote up ur POA or other things for her, then you may want to call him. Explain the circumstances. If he is an ethical lawyer, he will not bill her for her calls. Or, he can have his staff say he is unavailable. If she continues to call him, and he continues to bill her, then I would drop him or report him. After the conversation I may even email a confirmtion of your conversation. Its called covering your tail.
Assuming it's the right sort of POA and your grandmother's dementia is recognised as such (it will be, she's in a memory care facility) and she has been formally deemed legally incompetent, then a) yes you can but b) you really shouldn't need to.
I am sure, I know and have heard about them, that attorneys in the US are just as bound by professional codes of conduct as they are anywhere else so I see no reason for cynicism about this; and I should begin by contacting the attorney yourself, asking him whether he is aware of his client's legal status, and suggesting he resign his position of trust with her. At the same time, get hold of her phone and delete his number.
Are there any ongoing matters which he is in fact working on for her, though?
"...she tries to contact her attorney to get her out of the memory care facility she is living in."
Ah.
If your grandmother disputes her diagnosis and disputes the need for memory care and wishes to live somewhere else, she has the right also to dispute your POA - she may wish to revoke it - and she has the right to legal representation.
The question then becomes: what is her lawyer doing for his money? So what's the paper trail? Who is he contacting about this, what reviews has he asked for, what alternative accommodation is he pressing for on her behalf?
How long has this been going on? When was she admitted to the Memory Care unit?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I think I might contact the attorney and raise the issue of a possible segueing from providing advice to providing consolation, and the prohibitive cost.
I do think it's important to learn the nature of these calls, and not consider taking action against the attorney (as I suspect will be suggested in the responses to your question). Filing charges with a bar association or taking other action could jeopardize both your GM's needs and the attorney's standing. And it may be that the attorney is providing comfort and support that your GM really needs.
And what other sources does she have to discuss anxieties or fears? In the Indiana Jones style, before you remove something, find a replacement. If the pandemic weren't governing closeness, you could visit her more often. If you're not close, send her cards, to let her know she's being remembered, and help redirect her attention and reliance away from the attorney.
I recently read of groups that do provide this kind of support for people in either AL, IL or MC, but I don't have a citation or link to that article, or if I do, I just can't find it right now.
Sometimes school children make cards and let the MOW service deliver them to shut-ins; there might be a group or movement that does this for MC residents.
If grandmother is of sound mind sit with her and explain the costs of her attorney; show her the bills you are paying. For my brother I gave him a monthly accounting of his money in and his money OUT, and he has a looseleaf binder he kept this in. Most elderly women hate losing money. Tell her to get her attorney needs together and you and she can make a monthly call to do what business she has.
If you grandmother has dementia then take these papers to the lawyer and pay 350.00 of grandmother's money to sit with him or her for an hour and work out how to avoid all this.
But no, unless YOU are now completely in charge of an incompetent person (in which case you can fire a money-grubber of any profession and hire someone better with reasons documented by certified letter) you cannot fire Grandmother's Lawyer. If she is competent in any way she has a right to change wills, POAs and all else.
I would write a letter to him stating as her POA that you are discontinuing his services. I would enclose a letter from her doctor, hopefully a neurologist, explaining that your POA has been invoked because his client suffers from Dementia and can no longer make informed decisions. You can go on to say that the billing from his office for the calls she makes to him are draining her financial resources that you are responsible for. You hope that he/she understands your situation and when/if she calls again would his office staff be so kind to tell her that he is unavailable and he/she will call her back when its convenient.
Now, if she needs this lawyer because he handles trusts, wrote up ur POA or other things for her, then you may want to call him. Explain the circumstances. If he is an ethical lawyer, he will not bill her for her calls. Or, he can have his staff say he is unavailable. If she continues to call him, and he continues to bill her, then I would drop him or report him. After the conversation I may even email a confirmtion of your conversation. Its called covering your tail.
I am sure, I know and have heard about them, that attorneys in the US are just as bound by professional codes of conduct as they are anywhere else so I see no reason for cynicism about this; and I should begin by contacting the attorney yourself, asking him whether he is aware of his client's legal status, and suggesting he resign his position of trust with her. At the same time, get hold of her phone and delete his number.
Are there any ongoing matters which he is in fact working on for her, though?
Ah.
If your grandmother disputes her diagnosis and disputes the need for memory care and wishes to live somewhere else, she has the right also to dispute your POA - she may wish to revoke it - and she has the right to legal representation.
The question then becomes: what is her lawyer doing for his money? So what's the paper trail? Who is he contacting about this, what reviews has he asked for, what alternative accommodation is he pressing for on her behalf?
How long has this been going on? When was she admitted to the Memory Care unit?