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As retaliation for me telling the person who lives in my father's house rent free to stop acting as if my father were a childhe went ahead and filed false financial abuse complaint with APS against me.
This is a person that I had known for years and had fallen on some hard times and lost his job and my mother had just passed away and I was about to go across country for a business opportunity, and my father who has parkinsons needed someone just around in case of, we let him move into my dad's house rent free in return for him cooking dinner for my father and as a just in case presence. He had full freedom to leave or work or do anything he wanted to as well. Over the last two years he has slowly become more and more territorial over the entire house. Twice now I have had to step in and tell him to quit it when he would yell at my father for using the wrong sponge to wipe something up in the kitchen or because he snacked on a cookie before dinner. I'm not talking just an annoyed comment, full on belittling and condescending rant. He does not do any cleaning or gardening and sits in his room playing world of warcraft or whatever else and only comes out to make dinner and sets up coffee in the morning. I made a surprise visit home last week and found the house in shambles, the kitchen would have been shut down by the health department and my father in dirty clothes and talking about not wanting to do anything that would cause this person to start yelling again. I confronted this person and told them this was unacceptable and that it had to stop or I would be forced to call and report abuse. It was not two days later after my father had to go into the hospital and had been to scared to ask this guy to call 911 for him, that I told this person that he should start looking for other arrangements, it wasn't working out. I then received a call from APS social worker asking me questions about my father and I 's agreements from two years prior. My father is of full mental capacity, he just has slowed speech and walks with a cane, other than that mentally he is completely with it. He had set aside an account with my name on it, after my mother passed and put money she had said she wanted to go towards me and my attempt to start a company. So he and I came up with a joint credit card that would be paid for by this account with my name on it. The credit card was also used by this guy living there for groceries and such and this guy got my father to loan him seven thousand dollars and the guy doens't have a job and can't hold one down. Anyways, in retaliation to my telling him to start looking around for another option he filed a complaint against me for financial abuse regarding this credit card. My father is and was at the time fully cognizant, we both went to the bank together when he opened the joint account and said to the banker this is what it was for. We both agreed when the funds were gone that was all the assistance that was available to help me start a company, and I made him an investor in my company so he would be the first person to get paid when I get a larger investor or have revenue.
I'm now faced with accusations and am scared crapless that I somehow did do something illegal, but I don't know what it could be. My father told APS that everything was above board and I repeated the story in my statement to APS but who knows with these agencies. I'm scared.
The guy is still living in the house, and I have received repeated complaints from the caregivers that were sent after his hopsitlization that he uses bullying and tries to intimidate them and prevent them providing proper care to my dad. I have mentioned this to APS but I have a feeling they think I'm just trying to retaliate, which is not the case. I have statements from everyone including the owner of the healthcare company that speaks about his demeanor and his actions. Not sure what to do, where to go , I don't care about inheritance I care that I could possibly be denied the right to be in my father's life and he in mine if this somehow moves forward.

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The bully is still fired, yes?
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underpaidnurse Feb 2020
Yes, the proper paperwork requesting that he vacate the premises was filed per California single lodger laws.
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You need to help dad evict this guy. Find out what the legal procedure is and start. If he gets violent call 911. Your dad is scared and he needs to tell the police, but he needs to know that he will be protected. That's why people don't say anything, they fear retaliation.

APS can help you understand what resources are available for your dad and you.

You did nothing wrong, don't act like you did. Be transparent and cooperative and you will soon be done with them.

I would tell the agency that the caregivers need to report their dealings to APS, that way it is not a they said he said situation.

This person has actually lived up to their agreement based on what you said. Cleaning was not part of the agreement. I know and I get that a woman would just clean their environment, well some, but most guys don't clean much. So the house being a bachelor pad isn't surprising.

Best of luck getting this person away from your dad and good luck with your business.
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underpaidnurse Feb 2020
Thank you for stating what you did! I know that i didn't do anything wrong. It was an agreement me my mom and dad all had decided upon after my husband passed away and I was looking to start a company and needed to move on with my life. It was my mother who pushed for it before she passed because it was a business done in her honor and to help those that were in her shoes. I've been completely upfront and transparent, offering to send her the paperwork that was written up by my corporation's lawyers and the stock options that have been filed under his name but she stated she didn't need any of those things. Hopefully that is a good sign, ive just seen so many people get screwed once they become caught up in the system. The system is needed and I understand that, and it does good work but its still nerve wracking to think, they could disregard a persons wishes and that they have full faculty and still pursue. My father and I also decided that i wouldn't fly home anytime right now because we didn't want anything to be able to be said about intimidation or trying to push this guy out. I think i've aged twenty years in the last two weeks, so thanks for the words of encouragement.
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Yes, i had to let my dad make the decision because i didn't want this guy to have any kind of legal recourse to say that this was done in retaliation because supposedly APS reporters are anonymous. The APS social worker just happened to let it slip that it was this guy confirming my suspicions. My father didn't realize what was going onat the time so I explained what the APS social worker was checking into. And after his favorite caregiver told him what the guy had done to him that day when he was trying to prepare my father some lunch, my father called me and asked me how he does he go about doing it. I sent links to my dad to explain what and how because i can't have any part of it in fear that it will turn into a way for the guy to claim false eviction. In California, because he is the only person in the house besides my father we lucked out with the single lodger civil code which allows for a private party to just place a notice to terminate in 30 days. My father was going to do it tonight, but ended up in the hospital,but the termination letter is going up in the morning. I have alerted APS to his treatment of my father, and I will tell his caregivers to report. I did give APS the name of the head of the home care agency that is providing care so that they can contact her because she had a run in with him as well.
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I hope that your dad is doing okay.

I know that all of this is so stressful for both of you, be sure and take care of your needs.

One thing that I would caution, you should be present and showing up. This situation has changed and you have every right to get dad more care. You no longer need the prior arrangement because dads needs have increased. Don't let fear of what it looks like keep you away. That could look like something as well.

Yes once you are on the radar it can be a huge hassle, but I don't think that they have the resources to pursue false allegations beyond checking into the situation.

Do what you have to for your dad regardless of the mistake living there.

Sounds like it is going to be okay. Dad knows what he did and did it willingly. He has that right.
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thanks for your support. i was cleared of everything and when APS came to check on my father and they met the person that contacted them, i received a phone call from the social worker who stated that the person living in my fathers house needed to be evicted because of what she experienced when she walked into my dad's place. this was all before he knew who she was and she was able to experience him in his usual manner. so, my father's mental health after all of this crap is fragile, and now i'm trying to find a way to get him out peacefully because my father is scared to be alone with him in the house incase of retaliation but refused an emergency protective order when the social worker offered him one.
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