As retaliation for me telling the person who lives in my father's house rent free to stop acting as if my father were a childhe went ahead and filed false financial abuse complaint with APS against me.
This is a person that I had known for years and had fallen on some hard times and lost his job and my mother had just passed away and I was about to go across country for a business opportunity, and my father who has parkinsons needed someone just around in case of, we let him move into my dad's house rent free in return for him cooking dinner for my father and as a just in case presence. He had full freedom to leave or work or do anything he wanted to as well. Over the last two years he has slowly become more and more territorial over the entire house. Twice now I have had to step in and tell him to quit it when he would yell at my father for using the wrong sponge to wipe something up in the kitchen or because he snacked on a cookie before dinner. I'm not talking just an annoyed comment, full on belittling and condescending rant. He does not do any cleaning or gardening and sits in his room playing world of warcraft or whatever else and only comes out to make dinner and sets up coffee in the morning. I made a surprise visit home last week and found the house in shambles, the kitchen would have been shut down by the health department and my father in dirty clothes and talking about not wanting to do anything that would cause this person to start yelling again. I confronted this person and told them this was unacceptable and that it had to stop or I would be forced to call and report abuse. It was not two days later after my father had to go into the hospital and had been to scared to ask this guy to call 911 for him, that I told this person that he should start looking for other arrangements, it wasn't working out. I then received a call from APS social worker asking me questions about my father and I 's agreements from two years prior. My father is of full mental capacity, he just has slowed speech and walks with a cane, other than that mentally he is completely with it. He had set aside an account with my name on it, after my mother passed and put money she had said she wanted to go towards me and my attempt to start a company. So he and I came up with a joint credit card that would be paid for by this account with my name on it. The credit card was also used by this guy living there for groceries and such and this guy got my father to loan him seven thousand dollars and the guy doens't have a job and can't hold one down. Anyways, in retaliation to my telling him to start looking around for another option he filed a complaint against me for financial abuse regarding this credit card. My father is and was at the time fully cognizant, we both went to the bank together when he opened the joint account and said to the banker this is what it was for. We both agreed when the funds were gone that was all the assistance that was available to help me start a company, and I made him an investor in my company so he would be the first person to get paid when I get a larger investor or have revenue.
I'm now faced with accusations and am scared crapless that I somehow did do something illegal, but I don't know what it could be. My father told APS that everything was above board and I repeated the story in my statement to APS but who knows with these agencies. I'm scared.
The guy is still living in the house, and I have received repeated complaints from the caregivers that were sent after his hopsitlization that he uses bullying and tries to intimidate them and prevent them providing proper care to my dad. I have mentioned this to APS but I have a feeling they think I'm just trying to retaliate, which is not the case. I have statements from everyone including the owner of the healthcare company that speaks about his demeanor and his actions. Not sure what to do, where to go , I don't care about inheritance I care that I could possibly be denied the right to be in my father's life and he in mine if this somehow moves forward.
APS can help you understand what resources are available for your dad and you.
You did nothing wrong, don't act like you did. Be transparent and cooperative and you will soon be done with them.
I would tell the agency that the caregivers need to report their dealings to APS, that way it is not a they said he said situation.
This person has actually lived up to their agreement based on what you said. Cleaning was not part of the agreement. I know and I get that a woman would just clean their environment, well some, but most guys don't clean much. So the house being a bachelor pad isn't surprising.
Best of luck getting this person away from your dad and good luck with your business.
I know that all of this is so stressful for both of you, be sure and take care of your needs.
One thing that I would caution, you should be present and showing up. This situation has changed and you have every right to get dad more care. You no longer need the prior arrangement because dads needs have increased. Don't let fear of what it looks like keep you away. That could look like something as well.
Yes once you are on the radar it can be a huge hassle, but I don't think that they have the resources to pursue false allegations beyond checking into the situation.
Do what you have to for your dad regardless of the mistake living there.
Sounds like it is going to be okay. Dad knows what he did and did it willingly. He has that right.