My brother that lives close to our house is single, has no kids just a full time job but an obsession with sports. I ask him for help with my m om but I have to give him step by step instructions. But every time I have him help m y mom he just gets her more agitated and takes me hours to calm her down again. Im not sure its even worth the time to ask for help when its going to cause me more work. Im working my job for one more week and got together with coworkers today just for a lunch so I was gone for two hours and in that time I had 6 text messages during the lunch about how I needed to come take care of mom and he was leaving and just left her at home alone. This is not the first time this happens all the time. Everytime I will try to get a couple days away or do anything for myself he has trouble. I can't have homecare stay overnight due to state laws so my brother is the next choice. Luckily I have adult daycare and homecare. I have had to depend on my brother the last month to check on my mom the last few weeks but all that really consisted of was stopping by the house for a few minutes. I get more care from my shitzu puppy LOL. Not sure what to do now.
People don't change. Save yourself the stress: exclude him from responsibility.
Next time you see him, tell him Christina thinks he is a helpless wimp. Big Jock.
But as I said earlier, I'm not sure why siblings or family members don't try to be HELPFUL in other ways. I don't know, there's just not an answer to explain this human behavior except that their degree of selfishness allows them to not have to sacrifice to the degree that you are. It sounds like you've really tried to rally the troops but that also takes energy. You are justified in feeling the way you do . . . BUT, it sounds like you've been able to make some changes with your workplace that have helped you cope better and taking away that worrying about your mother. Please continue to take care of yourself, too, if even in small ways. Sending you positive energy.
I know I have heard that caregiving just comes easier to others. Maybe its because my parents had me when they were in their late forties, my mom was a CNA and I used to help her with some of her overnight cases, and also helping care for my great aunt.