My mother thinks that my sister and I will take away all of her money and move her to a nursing home. Some days she is normal and lucid but more and more exhibiting confusion and paranoia. She is actually nicer to strangers than her own family. We fear she will become a victim or give away the family home and money to the yardman! what can we do? An attorney told us that getting guardianship through the courts is costly and a nightmare
Regardless please make an appt with elder law attorney and get there with your mom as quickly as possible. Does your mom have an attorney she trusts? Is there a will currently? Is there a friend or family member she trusts other than you that could take her to see the attorney? Explain that she can meet with attorney privately and set things up as she wishes with safeguards.
My mom is increasingly paranoid and fearful of all the same things. Trust me, it gets worse and this is just the beginning. I have DPOA with my brother but it is a springing type (the worst POA you can have when a parent gets dementia --don't allow attorney to write this type). She needs DPOA with medical and financial assignment to the DPOA. She needs a will and advanced medical directive ASAP . I say this, because as her condition worsens or she loses her ability to make judgement, you won't be able to get her to get the POA and an attorney legally cannot draw one up for her if she is not lucid or of sound mind...so do this before it gets worse.
I used to worry about my moms finances or getting scammed, but frankly, she has dementia but won't relinquish any financial info. When she apwas in the hospital for a brief stay I was at least able to get some bank statements and set up an electronic account and a few automatic deposits and payees (like insurance, medical insurance, etc so they don't lapse). She doesn't understand it but at least we can monitor her checking and savings remotely and see any weird transactions. There haven't been any.
We live far away and she is on her own and doesn't want any outside help. We regretfully honor that, but it isn't easy and a constant worry. My mom has paperwork in order, but we have no copies, and she hides it constantly so it'll be a nightmare when we really have it. I managed a copy of the POA thank God but she insists I don't have one and I don't tell her that I took a copy from the house. She has dementia but is managing.
When I couldn't get a copy of the POA I too checked with attorney in elder law and they explained I could always take her to vcourt for guardianship, conservtorship etc but others warned me it was a nightmare with no good outcome and would be traumatizing for her and me. Not to mention abOut $20K which is ridiculous since I'm her only daughter and outside contact for her.
So get that paperwork done and good luck.