My mother has been in an Assistant Living Facility since Feb. 2014. She still doesn't like it. They bring her pain pills every four hours, but don't say a word to her. No one talks to her, I told her you have to talk to them also. She has lost 21 lbs. since Feb. She isn't happy, but I can't take her back. She's so negative about everything. Would a Care Home with 4 to 8 residences be better? How are they compared to ALF with 50 people? I'm at my wits end. Do they just want their money and not communicate with the residences or just too busy? She does have dementia, can't remember from one minute to the next. But sure can remember when she was little. Word for word stories.
Rapid weight loss can go with dementia. My husband lost a great deal of weight very quickly, out of proportion to what he was eating, early in the disease. He stabilized at a good weight for him. He lost weight again near the end, but that corresponded to a decrease in eating. Can your mother afford the recent loss? Is she at a healthy weight? Do you eat some meals with her -- does she seem to be eating OK?
Does she participate in any of the activities at the facility?
My daughter works at an ALF with about 80 residents. She is a very caring person, and from her stories I think there are many caring staff there. Daughter sometimes goes in on her day off if she knows it is one of "her" resident's birthday and that his family won't be there for him. I cannot imagine why any ALF would have only staff that are unfriendly. Any one can be having a bad day. But to consistently deliver pills without talking? That seems so weird that I urge you to confirm this before you take action.
Since your mother is very negative about everything she might not be happy anywhere. Was she happy when she was with you?
My heart goes out to you. You did what you had to do by placing her in the ALF. I hope that you are not feeling guilty, in addition to the very hard decisions you need to make. Do your best. Move on.
I know my Mom would have difficulties if she went into an assistant living home because if anyone talks with an accent, even if it was a Boston accent, she would have trouble understanding, thus would say no one is talking to her.