My aunt has lived with me for the past 6 years now since early 2011. She's 65-66 years old and now it's gotten to the point where I can't take of her. Last night she fell in the bathroom and it took me and a friend 40 minutes to pick her up and take her to her room (she's heavy) she's blind in one eye and lives off of SSI Disability, she has bad knees ei. She has 3 brothers who all work and are married and have their own homes, problem is none of their wives want my aunt to live with them. I'm thinking we're going to have to put her in a nursing home. Thing is my aunt doesn't want to leave but it's gotten to a point where not only can I not take care of her, if she fell and my friend and I weren't home, she'd most likely be a corpse right now. How can I get her out of her?
In other words, the poor aunt does not have much time left?
I'm not sure how welcome three brothers en bloc are going to be, turning up at the hospital to deal with substantial legal matters while your aunt awaits surgery. Moreover, if it's a major stroke she's unlikely to be mentally able to deal with the POA decision. I'm sorry not to sound more sympathetic, but then again they left this on your plate for years and years and now they get round to shifting themselves?
Your aunt is diabetic, blind in one eye - from the diabetes? - and obese. She has now had two strokes, the latter one serious. It sounds as though the hospital is trying to suggest, very gently, that you prepare yourself. But that needn't stop you hoping for the best, and I do wish you and your family well.
My uncles (her 3 brothers) are going to the hospital today, they have to decide what to do with her via power of attorney
We understand how you phrased your question, really, we do. However, if you re-phrase your communications to family, and instead say:
"My aunt needs to be placed immediately" for her own safety, that may be received better. What do you think?
You can continue to state: "How do I get her out of here" when talking to the forum caregivers though.
Better yet, call your favorite Uncle to have this urgent meeting at his home, bring her suitcase. They are most likely used to this arrangement and don't get it.
This may sound harsh, so do it at your own speed without guilt. It is more common than you might know that a need arises quickly for an elder to be taken out of the home that day! The usual 30 days notice does not apply here.
Your Aunt could apply for Medicaid. If accepted, she might qualify for around the clock care at a continuing care facility [nursing home]. It is now too a point where she can't decide on where to live, she needs higher level of care. My gosh, she is so young for that but sadly this is what happens when one is quite heavy, the knees go, and surgery can't be performed on the knees unless the patient loses quite a fit of weight, otherwise it is back to square one.
As recommended by another writer above, next time your Aunt falls, call 911.
You're right that she needs more care than you can provide, and that means that living with you just isn't safe for her. So that's your starting point. I wouldn't wait for another fall: why not call Social Services in your area and start researching your aunt's options? At her age, and assuming her mental faculties are fine, it's important that she starts planning her own care rather than passively becoming more and more dependent on you.
What brought her to live with you in the first place, do you mind my asking?