My aunt has lived with me for the past 6 years now since early 2011. She's 65-66 years old and now it's gotten to the point where I can't take of her. Last night she fell in the bathroom and it took me and a friend 40 minutes to pick her up and take her to her room (she's heavy) she's blind in one eye and lives off of SSI Disability, she has bad knees ei. She has 3 brothers who all work and are married and have their own homes, problem is none of their wives want my aunt to live with them. I'm thinking we're going to have to put her in a nursing home. Thing is my aunt doesn't want to leave but it's gotten to a point where not only can I not take care of her, if she fell and my friend and I weren't home, she'd most likely be a corpse right now. How can I get her out of her?
You're right that she needs more care than you can provide, and that means that living with you just isn't safe for her. So that's your starting point. I wouldn't wait for another fall: why not call Social Services in your area and start researching your aunt's options? At her age, and assuming her mental faculties are fine, it's important that she starts planning her own care rather than passively becoming more and more dependent on you.
What brought her to live with you in the first place, do you mind my asking?
We understand how you phrased your question, really, we do. However, if you re-phrase your communications to family, and instead say:
"My aunt needs to be placed immediately" for her own safety, that may be received better. What do you think?
You can continue to state: "How do I get her out of here" when talking to the forum caregivers though.
My uncles (her 3 brothers) are going to the hospital today, they have to decide what to do with her via power of attorney
I'm not sure how welcome three brothers en bloc are going to be, turning up at the hospital to deal with substantial legal matters while your aunt awaits surgery. Moreover, if it's a major stroke she's unlikely to be mentally able to deal with the POA decision. I'm sorry not to sound more sympathetic, but then again they left this on your plate for years and years and now they get round to shifting themselves?
Your aunt is diabetic, blind in one eye - from the diabetes? - and obese. She has now had two strokes, the latter one serious. It sounds as though the hospital is trying to suggest, very gently, that you prepare yourself. But that needn't stop you hoping for the best, and I do wish you and your family well.
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