I have been advised to call on the situation and curious if there are people who have had adverse reactions when they thought they were doing the correct thing...I take care of my Dad who is Bedridden, and (try) to take care of my Mother who has beginnings of Dementia, and have a sibling who lives in the home who is older and in poor health and does not take care of themselves properly.
If your motivation is pure of heart, don't worry about it. If, on the other hand, your brother is driving you nuts by living there and not paying his way? Well, that might give me niggles of conscience I wouldn't want to live with.
I guess I'm confused on why a caregiver would call APS.
If you're looking for assistance...they may be able to help...but their role is to investigate abuse or neglect of the elderly.
If you're going to do this, you have to be willing to go to the wall. Once you ring that bell? It can't be unrung. It could get ugly. And you know that.
Odds are they would not remove your brother from the house anyway, Montana. If mom would be upset if you made the call, crushed if they removed her son, and, undoubtedly, also crushed if they removed your dad from the home? That's enough for me.
Remember, APS doesn't care WHO'S crushed. They act swiftly and without mercy if they believe someone is at risk. But really? It doesn't sound like anyone is. Let it go.
Addressing a specific problem you mention -- that your mom forgot to give you a doctor's message -- contact your mom and dad's doctors and instruct them they are to call YOU and not relay messages about your parents' health, lab results, medication adjustments, appointments or anything else to anyone but you. (I assume you have both of their healthcare powers of attorney.) My mom's been on that program for three or more years.
They come out and do an assessment as to what kind of services are needed. It's been our experience that Medicare and most private insurance takes care of all charges. Good luck! I know how miserable it is to deal with a disruptive influence when you are taking care of someone.