My client is resistive to down right aggressive to my giving her her sit shower. Her sister does this 3x week but is needing the CG to do it. When we do try she gets snippy and will not do what we try... Asking first and getting her in bathroom to point of unclothed and ready to get in bathing area... Then she's gone to the other side and no way will she comply. The family thinks we are scared but as caregivers we aren't allowed to make patients do this...so it's a catch twenty two. I've tried the towel covering privacy mode... Nope Nada!!! Thus also goes for changing her depends ... She fights to stay in them and then family gets nasty that we can't handle it.... But after 4x of attempting to chg her when she's on toilet... She will attack my head.... I won't allow that.i can use constructive help please
This sounds like a dangerous situation for you on at least two fronts. First your client is becoming more aggressive. This puts you at risk of being hurt physically. Then there is the risk of you being blamed for her lack of cooperation. In all likelihood, she will become more aggressive, placing you in greater physical danger.
The second risk is the possibility of the family terminating you without paying and with a good recommendation. In the age of online message boards and rating systems, such as yelp., the family could leave a negative message about you and the firm you work for. If they are truly unhappy, then they might stop paying your agency for your time spent.
If you are not keeping a paper trail of the client's behaviors and the family's feedback, then you should starting a notebook with the date and time of the behaviors, such as the ones described. You need to CYA with this family
If your agency has an attorney on retainer, then the owner should consult with the law firm as a way of protecting itself.
I would also make sure that you are being paid in a timely manner. If the family is not paying promptly, then that could be a warning sign of their displeasure with your care.
If I were you, I would start looking for a new assignment/client ASAP. IMO, you might be in a no win situation.
If you want to revisit, the bathing situation, then the best advice on bathing is found in "Surving Alzheimer's, practical tips and soul-saving wisedom for caregivers." The author is Paula Scott Spenser. The book offers the best advice on bathing that I have seen. If you don't have access to the book, then reply with your email address and I will reply with a pdf on bathing.
Perhaps your agency should buy a copy of this book for the family. It sounds like they need help in order to grasp the stage of her illness.
You can't change the client's behavior. But you can change your own by finding a new client or assignment.
You are in a difficult position, where the possibility of the situation getting worse is highly likely. Do be careful and take care of yourself first. I am concerned for you, as I have been in the same spot as you are in now.
They should be supporting you and listening to your concerns.
Have THEY ever tried to bathe her? let them comment when THEY do. sheeesh.
So in my experience. my mother-in-law was the same way.
So, instead. I would say 'listen. you want to smell like a lost cat?"
Sounds harsh but she listened. then I would say ''you know. being bitter wont get us anywhere. you need to clean-up. we need to work together here. you can fight me for an hour OR have a fresh shower for 10 minutes and feel, smell a lot better"
Granted, I am able to change her Depends regularly (though she also thinks they're always fine and don't need changing) and stay fairly vigilant with toileting clean up in between. There are always wash cloths for intermittent clean ups, too.
Others have given good broader advice here, but maybe at the very least, the shower frequency could be reconsidered.
Hang in there, and bless you for all you do!
God bless you all.