I am providing 24/7 care for my mom. She has cancer and heart issues. I am NOT an only child. I am trying to find a balance between caring for my mom (who needs help with EVERYTHING)and being a wife, mother and Grandma. I am constantly tell my husband, kids and grandkids sorry I can't I have to stay here with mom. My daughter is expecting her first child. I have no idea how I can leave mom to be with my daughter for the birth of the baby. Mom has panic fits if I am gone from her.
Just what is your mom's long term plans? To just lean on you, for the rest of her life? You cannot cure her panic attacks. She needs to see a psychiatrist.
You have a defining moment in your life that is approaching and deserve to fully participate and enjoy it. This is your life. Please take that into account before saying no to something you might miss out on and regret later.
I can understand the panic fits, that happened to me when I was diagnosed with cancer, and even four years later and being in remission, I don't like being alone for more than a couple of days. It's all part of a new *normal* I have to deal with.
You have your hands full and your answer to them is familiar, "sorry I can't I have to stay here with mom". ( but mine is grandfather) Its not easy Im sorry your handling so much right now. Others will know better how to help you, and for some maybe they were able to handle 24/7 as you and can give you advice. I can offer my advice of getting some more help in, maybe even a close friend of your moms to make her feel at ease when you are gone. You need to talk with your mom and hire someone to help. I know, easier said then done esp if they do not want anyone.
Congratulations on your soon to be grandchild! I wish you luck and the answer to your situation