I am 24/7 bathing, meals, diaper changes, meds, errands, bill pays, I do it all. I have taken care of dad 24/7 since7/013. I am now POA with reasonable compensation clause. Dad can only feed himself since June. I don't sleep at night because he pushes the button for snacks and liquids. Every area of his life minus feeding himself is done by me. He can't walk, bathe or anything and I give meds through the night as well, service his car, pay bills, take to the doctors visits when he's able and coordinate all medical care. I do laundry 4 times a day because he is incontnent. I have no income and can not work because he has taken all my time since 7/2013. How does POA get reimbursed this for this?
If someone has a "pauper" parent, then they should definitely be looking into their state's Medicaid programs for either in-home care or long-term care in a facility. If a parent is very low income, they might be able to get the care they need and not have to pay a dime for it. The family member could potentially be paid by the state to care for the family member.
Conversely, some people do have enough income that they can pay a family member privately in exchange for care. Unfortunately, there aren't many options for care other than Medicaid unless someone can afford to pay for care. I don't think that a family member, as in this caregiver's situation, should be expected to give up their own lives. income and health to provide the level of heavy, 24/7 care this caregiver is providing. It's just not healthy and sustainable for one person to do all of that. Yes, our parents raised us and provided for us, but raising a child is a whole different situation than caring for an elderly, ailing parent.
So, what I'm seeing is that you have a few options to consider:
1. Arrange for dad to pay you for the care you are doing- there have been several responses here with great advice, such as seeking the help of an attorney to write up a care contract. This option is not ideal, because although you'd be getting some income for all the work you're doing, it's not giving you any practical, day-to-day help or any breaks.
2. Help dad hire a home care agency caregiver or individual to come in at least for a few hours per day, or several hours per week. You deserve a break!
3. Look into your state's programs for long-term care. Many states have programs that can provide care in the home, either with a state-paid caregiver, agency or an approved family member, such as yourself (must pass background check and obtain a certain level of training).
3. Look into options for long-term-care placement. It seems as though your dad's care is getting very intense and overwhelming, and at some point you just cannot be expected to provide a nursing-home level of care in your own home without any help. This is why 40% of caregivers die before their care receivers do. I'm unfortunately not exaggerating when I say this situation could LITERALLY be killing you!
If your Dad can pay you, then he can pay a professional full-time care-giver to help out 1 or 2 shifts. Either he or you hire someone, or decide that Dad needs another layer of care that only a continuing care facility can give.
You need to do what is best for you, and what is best for your Dad.
If he can do nothing for himself but feed himself, I can't even IMAGINE how one person could take care of him. Impossible, in my opinion.
Get rid of that button at night. He won't even get that attention in a nursing home.