I'm the only one here after Dad Passed. Mom was afraid to be alone so she wanted me to move in with her. The house is quite large, and she needed help taking care of it anyway. Only, shortly after I moved in she became a control freak. At first we had several heated discussions about it. But then I discovered she's forgetting things, a lot! Things she's done, thing's she's said, even things she's thrown out, and then accuses me of taking them on her. This has become a tense moment , because it's something, every day of the week. She's 76 yrs and she still drives, does her own shopping, cooks her own meals, ect. And everyone of these things all have there own issues. Driving, she goes over curbs. Shopping she orders wrong things and then blames the company. Cooking she constantly leaves the gas burner on until I find it. What gets to me the most, is if I say something to her, she screams yells, cries, tells me I'm lying to her about it, tells me to move out, and them begs me to stay when I agree to leave. I am exhausted! Don't know how much longer I can walk on egg-shells around here? If I went for outside help , she'd kill me. So what do I do?
This is not a qualified opinion, but your mother's erratic behaviour sounds symptomatic of dementia - which I agree could be acute and caused by a u.t.i., for which treatment and recovery are straightforward, or could be chronic in which case it needs to be faced up to. Her angry acting out would also be symptomatic not only of dementia but also of the fear and depression she might be feeling as a result.
So she really needs help, and the sooner you act, the sooner you will both get it. She won't kill you for that. She might kill herself or someone else if she carries on as she is - God forbid. Good luck, and please let us know how you get on.
But, he never told a Doctor or nurse about the noise,
Then, during these last 2 months Mom had a stroke and I came to take care of her only to find my Dad in worse shape than her! I reported this head problem to the nurse and it resulted in a head cat scan
My dad has hydrocephalus. They cannot treat it. Maybe it could have been caught and treated if only it had been found long since.
His dementia, paranoia, etc might be from this.
Please, have more than just a blood draw and a quick physical done. Check...found soon enough it could have been treated in my Dad. Look for the change in her personality. Something is happening.
You need to get her in to see her doctor and find out what is causing this.
Now comes the issue of you moving back home. What happens is the adult/child dynamic show up again. You become the child even though you are an adult. Your Mom sees you as that child once again who needs guidance. And if your way of doing things are different from your Mom, that can create a lot of problems. Even if your ways are easier and make more sense.
My late Mom wouldn't allow outside help to come in, neither. It was her house, and no one else is going to use her kitchen, her washer/dryer, etc. And here my Mom was 98 years old. Poor Dad, he felt they needed outside help but he never could convince Mom. It took a serious medical issue where my Mom had to spend her final months on long-term-care. Dad got his caregivers, and eventually he wanted to move to senior living as the house was too much work for him to maintain.
Take one step at the time. Get that issue corrected before tackling the next issue.
Going to see a therapist or counselor is a wonderful idea. You need someone to let you know what you're not crazy! Good luck, and let us know how things are going.