My Husband and I are recently taking care of His Father in his home. We have our own home too only 10 minutes away. He was living alone and doing good independently. After his fall 2 weeks ago. he became weak and had Pnumonia because of his fall. He is out of the woods so to speak with that and is now at home with help from his Daughter that came from Fla. She will leave in 2 days and we will be the Primary caregivers. We have never done this before but we know him so we can take care of his needs. the problem is my Husband has only been on his job with Nissan for 6 months. He has already exhausted his personal and Vacations days and he wants to see about Leave of absence to take care of his dad but we don't know if that can be done. I work partime but willing to quit and take care of his dad. I have a 22 year old son too that can help him go to the bathroom and run errands also. I will have to do the cooking and cleaning also. We thought about bringing a in home help to his home if needed. and he has to have physical therapy. Now he does have Life Alert in case he falls again. If we are not there it could happen again . Nervous about that. . Any suggestions will be helpful. Thanks to all. Val, Miss.
There are so many things you can do. You just have to decide which is best. Subjecting yourself to poverty is definitely not the best option. It may seem like the most caring, loving option at the moment, but caregivers also need to care for themselves. You know your situation best, so probably know what you can best afford to do.
I wouldn't let my husband take a leave from his job that has not only a regular pay check but the more essential benefits like health insurance. I agree with ferris1, you never know what is in the future, don't give up everything to care for your FIL, I know this sounds a bit heartless but you have your life to think about. Let the pros come in and help with bathing and therapy for as long as he is qualified and medicare/medicaid will pay for it. My husband and I have given up our 'quality of life' to care for first his Aunt and now his Mother has to have 24/7 care. We didn't imagine what was ahead of us when we took this on and now that MIL isn't really qualified for home health care we are the only ones here to help her. We are tapped out and have no health insurance and the stress of caring for her as she thrives our health goes down hill trying to do it all.
Look for a Geriatrician, a doctor who specializes in the care of frail elders. He can evaluate medication to reduce confusion and balance problems.
Talk to your local council on aging to find local resources. The social worker at the hospital or Visiting Nurse can direct you, or you can find a geriatric case manager.
This might be expensive, but if you get a consultation now, a one-time thing, you might be able to avoid or postpone problems in the future. Also, you will feel more sure of yourself.
Don't let your husband jeopardize his job!
If all this is till he fully recovers and is expected to do so it can work out and then he can return to his regular routine.
As far as the physical therapy is concerned he will need to be driven there so maybe a neighbor can be enlisted for that and reimbursed for his gas. In our area there are volunteers who will do that.
How bad was the fall? did he break something? is he expected to make a full recovery. Part of your problem is probably fear of the unknown. Realistically you will have to run his household and help with any personal care. If he or you are embarrassed one of the guys can help with the bathing.
The long term may be a different story if he will need long term care so you need to decide what he wants and how that can be worked out. Do you all get along well enough to take him into your home? Is having him go to Florida a viable alternative to live with his daughter. Would you be prepared to move him to your home? Would you move in with him and maybe rent your home for a while. Would he consider assisted living? Try not to worry about another fall, if it is going to happen it will whether he is alone or not. move all loose rugs are secure them. make sure he has a pair of well fitting slippers with non slip soles.
Lots of things to consider but as long as you can all get on well together if should work out. If it doesn't he can't stay home. Hard as that sounds it is a fact of life. Paid caregivers are the other option.
Does your son actually want to help potty grandpa? (I can't imagine.)
Remember, an elderly patient rarely gets better and you may soon be looking at Depends and sponge baths for this gentleman.
Make certain that you realize what you are getting into. Maybe spend sometime at a nursing home and see how your FIL, might decline.
Good for your family, if you can care for him, yourselves. I wouldn't be able to.
Listen to Ferris she has good advice.