My mom is 89 and in very good health. She has a will, of which my two sisters and I are co-executrices, and we each have Durable POA and Healthcare POA. My mother, however, did not specify what end-of-life measures she would like. My siblings and I have issues with caregiving (driving, chores, etc.) already, so I would imagine that these will only get worse. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been through a similar situation? I can't imagine being in a position of trying to decide on, let alone agree on, what to do for mother when she cannot make decisions for herself.
My dad had a DNR. I was his healthcare advocate. He had some dementia and took back everything he had ever told me in the past, everything he had put down on paper. My sick, dying 80-year-old father told me that he wanted to remain alive on a ventilator indefinitely. He wanted his heart shocked back into rhythm, the whole 9 yards. He didn't know what he was saying and thank God he had told me and my brother over the years that he would never want to live like that. Back then, we had no idea that my dad would lose his mind and go around yapping about wanting to be on a vent. I had to step in as his Healthcare Directive and make decisions because it was obvious he could no longer make his own healthcare decisions.
Don't put this off. It must be discussed.
She needs a Durable POA, a Financial and Healthcare POA. She has a will, and that will kick in when she passes.
Use your left hand, walk with a walker, have someone read to you,. and try to be happy. It ain't over 'til it's over.
p.s. a DNR is a very important document......not to be taken lightly. One should not sign this unless it is fully understood. It is not applicable to someone who has had an ischemic stroke unless other factors are present.
We've designated alternate powers of attorney and health care proxies in case I can't serve. My husband has correctly observed that while I would know his exact wishes, our alternate, a much-loved family member, might not, so the advance directive will be of vital importance.