By the time my mom says she has to use the bathroom and gets up with the help of others, she is peeing. She drinks very little and had a very strong smelling urine. Is there any thing she can take that will make her urine smell less offensive?
What are the best type of briefs, pads, diapers that you have used for your loved one. Anything that helps with odor? Does anyone use a incontinence pad inside of depends underware? or something similar? She seems to have a lot of leaks. Is it possible to build up her muscles, down there at 89?
I don't have answers to your other questions except the last. Although I have no claim to specific knowledge of Kegel exercises, I think they could help.