My Wife's dad moned in with us Oct 2014. Lots of health/Alzheimers/Dementia but all is manageable for the moment. I believe it is time for him to move to a home as this is stressful not only to us individually but our relationship. I suggest a change of homes would be more benifitial as we both work and he almost never leaves house or has visitors. He just does his TV/Computer Eat/Sleep thing; where more opportunity for activities/visitors and friends. Am I being selfish?
I would love to get my folks into assited living but they are very stubborn and won't even discuss it.
Dad might enjoy being around people of his own age group, dining the common dinning room, making new friends and having new buddies to hang out with. He can still have his TV/Computer.... but he won't be alone during the day, which can turn out to be a really long day and not much to stimulate the brain compared to being around people of his own generation. Gosh, all the things they could talk about.
If Dad-in-law can afford it, why not check out some of the continuing care facilities, as some will provide a free lunch to visitors. See what he thinks about it, he might surprise everyone and say he likes the place. Better for him to move now while he is still able to function, that was he can learn his way around the place and get to bond with the Staff.
That way your wife when she is around him will once again be his "daughter", not his "caregiver".