My Mom is currently living in a memory center and was doing well. She recently came down with a spine infection. The hospital had to transfer her to a nursing home for six weeks because the memory center would not take her with a pic line.. Any ideas on how to handle her? She blames us and is being very difficult..
With regard to visits/negativity, I would speak to the social worker at the facility and be guided by their advice. Don't follow in your poor dad's footsteps; preserve your life and sanity.
Remember that dementia is not logical. Blaming you for her spinal infection is not logical. Blaming you for the Memory Center's limitations is not logical. Blaming you that she is where she needs to be now is not logical. So please do not take any of her blaming to heart. You can sympathize with her unhappiness, but don't accept blame. "Yes, Mom, I know you liked the other center much better than this one, and I am so sorry you have to be here for a few weeks. The good news is that you will be going back to the center you like! ... I understand that there is ice cream available here. I'd like some now, would you?" Sympathize and change the subject.