I''m helping my parents fill out their Health Care Directive, and we are wondering how to describe the situation where, if Dad or Mom were essentially on life support (would die if supports removed), would they have to be kept alive, just so the 4 other kids could come and see them? Dad & Mom really don't want to have artificial life support at all. But all my siblings live far out of state, and do not visit parents, so how do we write this into the Directive, that the parents do not wish to artificially extend their time, just so the siblings could catch their plane and say "good-bye" one last time?
Maybe I just need someone else to write it. I'm having trouble coming up with a coherent sentence.
It is truly amazing what personal connections can do for older people.
It is truly amazing how seniors' own kids will think their own lives are so much more important than visiting their own folks.
My own son (age 17) told me the other day (as he was packing up homemade blueberry muffins to walk them over to Dad & Mom), "well, they're not going to be around forever". I guess I have been very busy with my parents, and my own kids sort of noticed. I feel guilty for not being there for them, but in my absence, they grew fledgling wings......
My Mom said, "Oh God, No, just let us die. (the other kids, she named them all) can come see us on the other side and tell me why they couldn't take their vacation at grandma's." Bearing in mind, she has not seen some of her own grandkids for over 10 years because my sib's are just so stubborn & bullheaded, they would rather go to Hawaii or Canada, than their own parents. OK, yes, I am being judgemental. But I'm the One who gets to do all the running around, and see into the soul of their eyes, when they wonder how big the grandkids are getting.....(and a couple great-grandkids).
But I will do what the parents want---not what the sibs want----and so the parents' words in each of their Health Care Directive is what will be followed.
If they say I pulled the plug too early, I'll just have a copy of the Directive at hand which shows, that's what Dad or Mom wanted.
You say, "Mom and dad don't want any life support at all." There's your answer. Why are you complicating matters?? It's not what YOU want. It's what THEY want for themselves.