My 91 yr old mother is hospitalized in another town 150 miles from the hospital that her 94 year old husband is in. They have been married for 76 years and last they saw each other was 10 days ago which no one knew it was to be the last. My father has taken a turn for the worst and hospice care is inevitable. My mother is frail and the trip may be too much for her. I feel like it would be the right thing to do, letting them say their goodbyes. On the other hand it would be so stressful for them both over the broken hearts they are experiencing now. I don't know what to do.
If your Mom understands what is going on, could she also stay at the same hospital as your Dad? You'd be surprised how strong elders can be in regard to their final good-byes, especially if they are not in denial about their health and age.
people telling elders whats best for them strikes a bad chord with me right now . my aunt is languishing in a nh , never to leave there and all she wants to do is go truck riding with me and enjoy looking at some nature but EVERYBODY knows that its too much for her , her health isnt good , shes just fine where shes at , etc . it isnt right . shes smarter than the whole bunch of them combined yet being treated like a child . dementia , like manic depression is a " brilliant " madness .
i like what my FIL told his son one time ; " you will NEVER be as smart as me " . FIL is rather demented now also and true to his words his son is still not half as intelligent . dementia is a memory illness , not mental retardation ..