Brother stealing from mom. Any ideas?

Sounds like there is no financial Power of Attorney who can take over all the funds that your Mom has... thus the youngest son would need to answer to the POA if he wants any money.

If the time comes that your Mom needs Medicaid to help pay for her care and nursing home, she probably will be turned down as she had "gifted" way too much to that son. The money that would have been used for her care was in his pockets and it is now gone. She doesn't even have a house.

Apparently Mom thinks her baby son will take care of her forever. What happens if he gets arrested and put back into jail. There won't be any money for her to use and Medicaid won't be there to help. She could become a ward of the State.

Exactly. I know there's probably not much we can do but just wondering what others had done. If he's figured out a way to do it, he's probably POA but I think he has just taken over her bank account, no POA, and obtained enough info to open credit cards. I'm also wondering what the liabilities of my siblings and I are if: (1) we do not report suspected abuse and (2) she becomes a ward of the state.

He swindled her out of her house by telling her she was giving him a life estate when in fact it was a warranty deed.

What he is doing sounds illegal to me. Put him back in jail where he belongs, and find a lawyer to help you. It's not fair to your mother. He would take everything she has and not care

Sorry you are going trough this Jazzy2; it sounds like a serious situation that could result in harmful consequences for your mom, as others have said above. What I would do is document everything you can, like that he is opening credit cards in her name, then show it all to a lawyer who is skilled in elder law issues. If you can't afford a lawyer, law schools often have free legal clinics and there are other free resources you can find if you just google "free legal support [your state]." Good luck --your mom is lucky she has you, even if all her appreciation seems to go to this problematic son.

Jazzy, this is really a tough situation, especially since the action he's taken is illegal and abusive, but you need definite proof. I would focus on that first, perhaps with two of you visiting your mother. One would talk with her, the other can surreptitiously look for documentation, such as credit card statements, bank statements showing payments and/or withdrawals, etc.

The conundrum though is that your mother is apparently competent so other than guardianship (which is a distinct possibility), there are no obvious grounds to get him out of the picture. Your mother could affirm that she's given him authority to tap into her finances.

Swindling her out of her house is definitely abuse, but the issue is how to prove it, especially when she'll compensate for him.

There might be some grounds on which you can force access to her; I would see if a police officer can offer some insight on this level.

So then look at the second level. Can you prove that he's stolen pain meds? Is he selling them? If so, contact law enforcement. If he's used in the past and been caught by law enforcement, that would be reflected in his record.

I don't mean to pry, but what other offenses has he committed? Is there a history of fraud, of theft, of substance abuse? If so, those would actions he must avoid to remain out on parole.

Is her house in disrepair? Any hoarding, health issues? If so, APS could be used as leverage to get access to the house, and to focus on his lack of proper care for her.

The third and perhaps more practical way is to contact his parole officer. First search online for the corrections department website that lists parolees and the terms of their parole.

Hopefully, there will be limitations there that can be used. If access to anyone's finances is a parole violation, contact the parole officer. If he's selling pain meds, let the parole officer know.

Is he required to work? Does he have a job? Is he using controlled substances, whether he's stolen them from you mother or got them somewhere else? Those could also be parole violations.

You could also include any other information detrimental to him which might not necessarily be a parole violation. Parole officers are pretty savvy; they can tell if a parolee is likely to offend, especially a repeat offender.

If he's been in prison most of his life, he's probably a repeat offender. That might be the quickest and easiest way to get him out of the picture.

I do think that an argument could be made that, while not necessarily compromised by dementia, your mother is compromised by inability to clearly see the situation, by being unable to continue enabling him.

There might, however, be a risk to you and your siblings if you challenge your mother. So you'll need to restrain yourself from criticizing the bad brother and gain her confidence so that you can get access to information that could put him back in prison.

It's sad when a family situation slips into this kind of deceit, but in the long run, it's important for your mother's care, and that I think would be the important issue if you and your siblings apply for guardianship. And if you can get your brother's parole violated, that might be the time to move for guardianship.

It might also be the time to get a restraining order against him.

If she is mentally competent, there is no much you can do. Being the "baby" of a family of five, I know I got extra treatment, but nothing compared to what my mother did for my one and only brother. He took advantage of her too, but I got an order of protection against him for smoking in her house, he was evicted, but because I left the state I didn't get the notice to appear in court, and the case was dismissed. It woke him up though, he soon moved out, and then died about one year later from lung cancer. I always think there is justice from above for people who take advantage of others. But, you can do nothing unless you can prove he is abusing your mother. Remember, fathers and daughters, mothers and sons have a bond stronger than anything...

Talk to simeone that deals in Elder Abuse. Social Services.

I would find out her "home" bank branch. If you are able to go in and speak to the branch manager, explain to him/her the simple facts of the issue and concerns. If you have dates or transactions, show the manager. They are, by law, to report any suspicious activity on their elderly customers accounts. At any rate, the bank can flag her account.
You not being the POA runs into some difficulty for changing anything but at least you put the bank on notice. Therefore if anything occurs you will have a documented visit to the bank regarding this fiduciary elder abuse suspicion.

Quite often the one that has assumed the daily 24/7 responsibility for the aging parents get the blame from the less attentive siblings with suggestive friends and sometimes in-laws that has an eye on assets . Sibling and family love is sometimes lost forever when a full and accurate knowledge of the situation is not done/understood and a mercenary situation develops usually by an in-law.
Example== An aging family with 4 children. # of the children marry and move away but one moves in with parents or builds an apartment on their home in order to care for them. Both parents go through memory loss /Alzheimer's and all other medical problems with only one 24/7 they can depend on and sometimes maybe 1 or 2 times a year a visit from the other 3 with grand kiids they have baby sit and diapered over the years. Sun sets in the West for Pap and Granny and the mercenary /vulture syndrome takes over and the other 3 want to kick out the 24/7 care giver that has dedicated their life to Mom and Dad out of the home and split the assets. Let the family get an older analytical minded person for advise. The 24/7 person has earned the home and a share of the other assets that has been saved by not paying nursing home and other cost . Unc Bud

Does your mother have any idea of what your brother has done? Does she know he opened credit cards in her name? Does she know that the house was not a trust at all and she totally signed over the house to him? Does she know he is taking money from her bank account? Have you or anyone else spoken to her about what he has done?

There is a reason he was in prison. Sounds like it didn't do anything to change his ways. Somebody must talk to your mother in private to notify her of the things he has done. If she decides to protect him even though he is putting her into financial ruin and she is made aware of everything he has done, that is her choice. She must understand that "you" aren't doing anything to her baby----his actions are doing it to himself. If he was released from prison about a year ago, then I assume he must be on parole/probation. Stealing money, identity theft & stealing pain meds are all parole/probation violations. All you have to do is give his parole officer a call & tell him what your brother has been doing. Let the parole officer know about how your mother will lie for him to protect him, and you are calling in an effort to prevent your brother from bankrupting your mother. If you have documents to prove what he has done, you can show them to the parole officer to support your statements.

He is her sole caregiver now---who took care of your mother before he was let out of prison? Did any of her kids have financial POA? Did any of the kids know the contents of her will?

This activity needs to be put to a stop now! Seek out an attorney.

If I were you, I'd walk away and never look back. Your mom is obviously happy with him and he is taking care of her. Just let it go and move on with your life. Trust me that some things are not worth fighting for and this is one of them.

I took my mom to the bank. Closed her account. Took her to my bank and opened a new one where I am the signer and it was still her account. Paid her bills for the last 5-6 years of her life. She had plenty of money without my brother taking advantage of her not knowing 8 dollars from 800 dollars!

my older brother and a hired caregiver took care of her before youngest brother got out of prison. Prison brother threatened older brother's life so he doesn't go around any more. Prison brother fired caregiver to save money.

Don't fool around for 1 more minute. There are special laws written to protect the elderly and they enforce them. Not sure of your state but start with a phone call to the Office of the Attorney General. Have a short blurb ready to go -youngest son swandering 94 year old mothers funds, isolating her from the family. No MPOA or DPOA. Do NOT say she has it together. You're not qualified to determine this and based on her actions I highly doubt ner competency. Tell the AG you need his help. Be willing to follow through. If you know this is happening you've got to stop it, don't you think?