Brother wants to take Mother on a 4 day trip to Colorado to visit Sister. I am Power of Attorney for Health and Durable. I say no because of her Anxiety, Alzheimers/Dementia. She gets agitated at Sundown. It is not a Good idea that I see and her Doctors say it is not a Good idea. She lives in a Assisted Living Retirement Facility and they say they cannot hold her there. But they cannot release the meds, only I can do that. I will not because I say she cannot go. They will take her without the meds. Isn't this abuse?? What can I do?
And your brother is intent on taking your mom on this trip even though her Dr.'s have advised against it? What does the sister say? The one he's taking your mom to visit?
When does he plan on leaving (meaning, how much time do you have to figure this out)?
But that is all legal considerations. The important consideration here is how her children can work together to do what is best for Mother.
Would your sister consider another option of say coming out to visit your mom at AL? Can you and your brother, maybe even mom, chip in to make this possible?
I agree, this could be a train wreck taking your mom out of her regular environment and could be exhausting. With AZ and dementia, it's even more essential to stay in a routine . Brother and Sis probably mean well but aren't educated enough to understand it isn't likely to be the reunion they imagine.
I hope you can get them to understand what is best for mom.
Don't go down the "abuse path", it can only turn out bad on your relationship and will be emotionally draining for you. I wouldn't hold the DPOA over your sibs head either unless you want a court battle and are prepared for severing ties and emotional heartbreak. I don't know your situation or the family dynamics...just my thoughts.
I hope you are able tow work this out in short order. Good luck and keep us posted.
Throughout my husband's decade of dementia, his doctor continued to urge him to travel, to take interesting vacations, to try new things (with my support, of course.) No two people who have dementia are the same, and just because travel was good for my husband doesn't mean it would be for your mother. But just because she has dementia does not automatically rule out a trip for a few days. I hope that you and your brother can visit the doctor together and talk about the pros and the cons.
If your mother is going to leave for a few days and you refuse to allow her to take her medicines with her, the "abuse" if that is what you want to call it, is on your shoulders.
Let's drop any talk about abuse. I assume that you and your brother both want what would be good for mother, and you simply don't agree on what that is.
What does Mother want?
if its a power struggle,put on big person pants and say no for the sake of your mom