She likes to go there to see her grandson. Last month she wrote him checks for $600 that I had to cover. This month she gave him her room and board money. He tells her to give him her medication and she does. If I say anything I'm the bad guy. I have power of attorney, but the lawyer says it really has no "teeth" because it's revocable. My brother is 49 and has been living off her his whole life. Of course, she sticks up for him. He needs money. He needs pills. Blah, blah. I go between wanting to throw my hands up & disown them both just to get rid of the problem and knowing my 77 yr. old physically handicapped mother really needs to be protected from him, and even from herself, since she cannot refuse him all her money and pills. What can I do?
Your mom has been bailing out your brother for many years, so that's not new behavior on her part that would constitute incompetence. It's just the same old bad judgement she has always shown.
If she use to be responsible about paying her bills and is now letting them go, that might be a sign that she is showing some mental decline. Still, her doctor would have to agree that she is not capable of making sound decisions for your authority as POA to go into effect. I don't know how that process works where you live, but you could ask your attorney. Are you able to speak privately with her doctor?
My gut feeling is that you are stuck in a bad situation. If you make too many waves, your mom may remove you as her POA. So tread carefully.
How old is your mom and how long has she been living with you? Why was she in a nursing home?
Hugs, Cattails