not doing what mom wants- but has been getting away with it because I was intimidated-
I am not anymore- he refuses to let me see moms possessions without signing a release-I have no idea what her estate involves-
he still will not tell me what his inventory was - as he secretly packed up and closed the apt without allowing me to be there-
he is an angry and vindictive person who refuses to show any compassion , ethics or morality-
I was the one who cared for her for over 10 years- and he cut me out- and I let him-
and I will not allow it any more-
idont know if I am asking a question or just letting off steam-
he claims he is doing me a favor but I have to sign away on this release form first-
I am not signing something that I have no idea what her estate contains-
poor mpm- she never wanted this-
this was his agenda all along-
I fuming- going to go for a walk to get rid of this negative energy-
I haven't posted in months- ive been sick-and drained-this time he has pushed e too far-
I don't see why I have to shell out for lawyer when he always said she had nothing of value- now he talks of and estate sale to pay for her care at the nh- when her insurance runs out- but something isn't making sense-
thanks guys for just letting me vent-
gotta get rid of all this negative and harmful energy that I am wasting on this ass and his narcissistic ,condescending attitude-
In the meantime, gather up as much evidence as you can. Write down everything you remember, dates, what was said, possessions of your mother's that aren't accounted for, etc.
You may use the civil law system to bring a lawsuit against your brother. The outcomes might include your brother being removed as POA, your brother being made to produce an accounting, or to repay funds, or to pay damages in the form of money to your grandma. In most provinces, anyone who knows that a POA document is being used in an improper way is allowed to launch a lawsuit.
There is also the criminal law system. This is only available where there has been theft or fraud. In my opinion, both of those things have happened here. In this case, you don't launch a lawsuit; you call the police just as you would for any other crime. The outcomes could include jail time for your brother, fines against your brother, an order that he repay the money, and pretty much anything else the judge wants to throw at him. Best of luck with whatever you choose.
I hope that you can do things easier than we are finding the path.. We had to obtain a GAL (Guardian Ad Litem) for their best interest and are challenging him in Court for the Guardianship since he has had both deemed incompetent so he only had to answer to himself. Our big brother is a 60yo Ex hard nosed trucker that has a permit to carry. So I understand the intimidation aspects.
He has taken over all of their accounts with no accounting to anyone and has scheduled auctions and sold things against their wishes..
Our only resource was to file in court.. Hope you can find a way around it..
2. Contact Family and Children Services for a wellness visit due to
your brother's secretive nature. Let them know you are
concerned about your mother's well-being - both physical and
mental.
This should get things started. The officials you contact can give you other
contacts. Don't give up. Best wishes
It sounds like your mother did not have a will, in which case her estate will be divided according to your jurisdictions's (probably state) laws. Start googling your state's name with terms like "intestate", "Power of Attorney' and so on. Arm yourself with knowledge!
Not sure if that question was directed at me, but no, this case will not automatically go to court. It will only go to court if someone initiates the process. You really need to at least talk to a lawyer about this, and do your own research. Many estate law firms have general info about wills & estates on their websites. A librarian at your local library should be able to point you towards some resources as well.
You can leave it in God's hands if you wish, but then why post here?
I don't normally pay attention to my e-mail but this one stood out to me.
I am going through a real similiar situation. Only my mom passed away 3 months ago. I had to come to a place with my brother where I told him that I was done.
And then did not talk to him untl right before my mom passed.
The thing that helped me was being in a good church and having that prayer support. We had hospice involved and that was good but still I had to find my own legal council. Meaning that I had to look up laws and talk it out with my brother.
Hospice did warn me that they see this happen all of the time. Were the big guys come in and pick on the one who is doing all of the work so to speak. But the real deal is this the fifth commandment in the ten commandments is to honor you father and mother and it is the only commandment that comes with a blessing. f you are doing what you know in your own conscience before God than he will take care of you and believe me he knows well what is going on.
Try to draw your strength from him and your own tribe of close friends.
PS-It has been my experience that involving the PD in ANYTHING usually becomes a hideous mess. But that's just one person's experience.
As I said upthread, most jurisdictions (states) have general info posted on their websites, estate law firms have info on their websites, and librarians can help you.
Be aware that if you do not educate yourself and take action regarding PoA or executor misconduct there is essentially ZERO chance of it being detected or satisfactorily resolved by sheer luck.
It is going to cost you but get something- good info of what actions are available
and advised. If the first attorney seems to be a waste of time and money try another. I do suggest looking for the elder law specialist though. Stay strong.
- best
-out here
Not the correct thing to do, but all too human.
I have been there, and it is horrifying!! Find an attorney and see if they have a free first time meeting or call. Talk to them about everything, see what they say and go from there!
I do not understand how your brother became POA the day before your mothers death?
I wish you the best and I understand where you are coming from and am here if you want to vent!!