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My father is stage 4 renal patient he came from my home country for second opinion and have been living with my family for 4yrs now I feel i need a break for now he is capable of doing much but he decline to do instead he takes most of his time going around to friends house, I shopped for apt for him but on condition my mum will be sending money to pay but she changed her mind she can't afford it. I asked my dad to go back to his home country he refused and he said he is going to die here on top of it I pay for everything out of pocket since he cant qualify for medcare even though he is a permanent resident, what should I DO?
having 2 children and another child on the way its finacially draining for me n my husband and running out of space in house.

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Wow so sorry. What was the visa requirement? There's usually a time limit for visitation and then INS makes you leave. If you sponsored him, you could un-sponsor him and he would have to return home.
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Talk to your consulate and see if they can convince him to return.
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just finished talking with one of his friend and told me to pack his belongs and ticket on the hard and he will drive him to airport and if not to get the h*ll out of ma hse even our culture dont allow that he don respect my husband and also they have noticed he is arrogant in the church they go
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May I ask where your home country is? Why does Mom not seem to want him back? If he is a permant resident why can he not qualify for any aid? If he can "go around " to friends homes can he work at all???
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I'd pull away the welcome mat. Swear to God, that's what I'd do. Send him home or the next post we read from you may be about your husband packing his bags.
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I'm so glad to hear that you have support among your father's friends. Listen to them.

You do not have control over your father (or your mother). You cannot require him to go back to his country. But you DO have control over your household. You can insist that he leaves your house. By all means, let him "tell" on you. What a joke! Meanwhile, look into what it takes to evict someone in your location. You may need to serve a formal written notice and give him a certain number of days to leave. If you follow all the steps, someone from the sheriff's department can escort him off your property on the day he is to leave. In some communities the rules apply even if your dad is not paying rent. Find out the rules in your area. Follow them. Require Dad to leave your house. Where he goes is not your problem. You and your husband have control of your household.
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his from kenya I sponsored him just to the limit of getting aid for couple of years but he get quality dialysis here for free than in kenya and he is one of the arrogant people I have ever seeing he abused his marriage at his young n old age now his 73 at the same time he knows how to manupulate every one he can work but he don't want even doing his ADLs we have been going on n off am tired,back home his well up n they have good money coming inn and have property he can sell to maintain his dilysis.I offered to pay ticket he swear his not going to leave his going to tell on me that am chasing him away when he is sick.
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Who is he going to tell on you to? Call his bluff, give him a date and send him home. You have a family that needs you and a husband who will soon tire of this game. You really don't want to wake up one morning and find it is just you, Dad and your three babies.....hubby is gone!

Get those friends he is visiting to give him a stern lecture that his place is at home with his wife. Perhaps one of them will take him in and support him for the next 10 years or so.

You should send Mother a letter that you need money for airfare to send her husband back home where he belongs. This has gone on way too long!

Good luck.
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Ooooh, tell on you! That probably makes a difference where he comes from, but you're here now, and the community back home has little power over you, unless you let them. I imagine back home women do what they're told? Sorry, we have rights here.
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You can try to do what your father's friend said. Best to buy a Refundable one-way ticket paid by your credit card. This way, if your father refuses to go, and comes back to your home, you can still refund it (less any refund penalty). Do Not Pay by Cash/Check. If you pay by cash/check, your father can refund it and the money goes to him because the ticket is under his name. If you pay it by credit card, the refund goes back to the original credit card used.

There are some states that protect people from being thrown out of a home. That's why Jeanne mentioned to check in your area. If there is a law, then you must follow the rules of eviction. That includes an eviction notice and a certain time period that gives the evicted person time to find a new place to live (and not be thrown out in the streets.)
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