I'm sure this has been asked/answered here, but I was focused on other things. My mom is burning through her savings with 24/7 home care since my dad died last September. (She had a stroke 10 years ago and is in a wheelchair, declining mentally. She's 85). At this rate, we estimate she has a year of savings left. What should my next steps be? I have POA, she owns her own home. The attorney we've been working with (theirs; had to use her to fight for access to my dad's safety deposit box) is about worthless. We're in a very rural area with no elder care attorneys. Do I need one? I'm doing this from 3 hours away. I work 6/7 days a week and travel to my mom's most Sundays. I need to be as efficient with my time as possible. I'm already at the end of my mental rope fighting to gain her access to her investments.
the POA, has it ever presented a problem for you to use?
When dad died, were all financials that were in his name or his SS# was attached to, changed so that all currently are in moms name if she was set to inherit or be beneficiary of OR did dad have pour over will so a Trust established? Or is the distribution of assets per dads will still not finished up in probate? or has dealing w probate not been done?
You mention the old atty seems useless…… useless in what way? Disinterested? or they do nothing probate related in their practice?
She likely has a checking & a savings account, right?
How many banks? Do you personally bank at any of these?
Her income (like SS) is all being direct deposited, right?
Are you a signatory at each bank on all her accounts?
& r all POD (pay on death) to you?
All this about figuring out how best to consolidate stuff.
You mention investments, what type?? if stocks, have you ever spoken with her broker? If it’s property (house, land), do you have the original paperwork on initial purchase, Warranty Deed, and Release of Deed and what is the market like to be able to sell a house or land?
if it’s CDs or T bills, when is the next expiration date?
24/7 is likely costing way more than a NH would cost. Her moving into a NH soon & putting house on market before winter sets in makes sense to do. Just what has kept this from happening now that it’s a year since your Dad died?
Igloo wasn’t being sarcastic. If you read her posts, she has much wisdom in financial/legal matters.
She is asking for specific answers, in order to give you informed replies.
Come back, and give us another try.
Assisted livings are limited in the kind of care they can give. They are not skilled nursing. It maybe cheaper, though to place Mom in one. If her care is too much for an AL, then you may need to place her in a nice Skilled Nursing facility. Then you do what I did, pay privately. This will get you placement faster. When the money starts to run out, then u apply for Medicaid. Make sure the facility you choose excepts it.
Medicaid does have a program where aides are supplied but its rarely 24/7 care. It can be only 4 hrs a day.
You really need to talk to an Elder lawyer well versed in Medicaid.
If Mom has about 1 year of resources left you want to get a facility lined up for her that will accept Medicaid when she runs out of private funds (most AL's in NJ have very limited Medicaid beds). You will have a pick selection if she can go into one while she is a private pay. Try to get her on a list for facilities that have AL MC and LTC on the same campus to ease the strain of moving if her needs should become greater in the future.
Medicaid is administered slightly differently in each state but most will take a 5 yr look over the shoulder to make sure funds have not been "gifted" in order to qualify for Medicaid. Gather as much of the paperwork they will require before hand. This will generally include birth, marriage, death certificates, divorce decrees, title/ deed to the house, titles or bill of sale of any cars she has owned in the past five years, minimum of 3 years (5 is better) real estate tax bills, bank statements, utility bills .... you get the idea.
Sounds like she may need more care than can be provided at home but if you are hoping for home care again the eldercare attorney can tell you the resources that may be available in your area. You can also contact your state Office on Aging for resources.
Wishing you good luck on your journey. Please keep us updated.
Clearly.
This was a mistake.
Also clearly.
It sounds like she would benefit from a facility. Her needs would be met and she could have some socialization.
It is better to place her while she is still some what cognizant, it makes a difference in how someone adjusts to their new home.
I would also try to locate her closer to you. It will make your advocacy so much easier.
If you can't find an attorney to help or can't afford one, check with your state government Agency on Aging. All states have one. They often have staff people who can help with Medicaid applications or long term care planning for free. This is not an overnight process, so starting sooner rather than later will help provide the time you need to sort everything out. Praying for you because I'm going through the same thing. Try to set aside some time to focus on getting your questions answered from the state Agency on Aging. Don't try to do this alone. I learned quickly that help is needed with this process.
What is the care arrangement in her home? Does she have one caregiver who lives with her and takes care of her, or is there several? If she's paying hourly for round-the-clock caregivers that's a fortune. A live-in or two (they split the week) would be the way to go in her case.
What's going to happen is her money and assets are going to be depleted paying for her care one way or the other. Either it will be paying for aide care to keep her home, or it will be to a care facility. So if she's happy being in her own home with her aides, why not just let that continue until she's out of money?
When that happens she will have to go to a care facility and they will do her Medicaid application. Her house or houses (if there's more than one) will have to be listed for sale. Her investments will have to be cashed out and liquidated. All this you will be able to do with POA.
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