I would like to move back to my home state of California. Mom is 94, in the NH, very stable, but there's a Medicaid problem. I am 63, and would love to return to my home state, but I feel stuck in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Where do I find the answer to such a question?
Agree with CM an upheaval is very disorientating for an elder and many others i don't think the distance is a faster except for the length of the journey but that can be managed in stages. Agree the climate may be better in CA, but will she miss friends in the community etc. Be prepared for a decline.
Only. Call me a cynical old hag, because I am by now, but don't be too heartbroken or disillusioned if it turns out that distance wasn't the only reason they weren't all stopping by...
And you being happier is important. I hope you're able to get things sorted on the Medicaid front, please let us know what the advice is.
Since your Mom is already settled in in her nursing home, she probably knows her way around, know the staff, know the other residents, and is enjoying the meals, it wouldn't be easy to relocate Mom to another nursing home else. Of course, it depends on clear her mind is and if you think she could easily adjust to a new nursing home, as everything will be new to her.
My Dad [95] moved from his house to Independent Living, this was his own choice, and I noticed after a few months he was started to "sundown". I didn't know if it was part of the natural progression or if this accelerated due to the move and/or my Mom passing prior to him moving in. It kinda took me by surprised. He could have had dementia while living in the house with my Mom, but he was good at hiding it, if he did.
How she behaves here is such that she always goes with the flow. She is either in wheelchair or bed... and never walking around. She is used to the routine, and the people, though she does not socialize with anyone even during meals. She could handle the move, but with not knowing what to expect, there may be much more than just the physical move to worry about. Either way, I think she would enjoy seeing family. Right now, I'm her only family visiting her and I do that every other day.
Moving to Calif. would make me much happier in my senior years, and mom would be able to see family much more frequently. She has no interest in anything so it's not like I would be taking her away from established friendships or hobbies/engagements that she loves. She has always been a bit of a loner. Thank you so much for all your input. This place is priceless.
freqflyer: "would it be possible for you to return to California and be a long distant caregiver?" I could not do that since I am already the only one visiting her. It would break my heart to leave her behind.
As for adjusting to a new place.... I think she would do fine. It might even be a good thing to make her life once more interesting. She was used to living 1/2 the year in Montreal, and then 1/2 the year in California and did this for years. She's a tough cookie. :-)