My mom is wheelchair bound, has virtual no use of her legs (can't stand) and even her arms are too weak to propel the chair even a little. At 5' tall she weighed 160 lbs. last time she was weighed, two weeks ago in a NH. She is now at home with fulltime CNA care and is gaining weight. She loves food & people are bringing her food she doesn't need to eat! We really need a dietician but there's not one in our area and it's so hard to take her out for long. She knows she'll end up back in the NH if she gets any heavier (one CNA can barely move her due to her weight) which she HATED, but she doesn't want to cut back & can't exercise. She's in denial with her health problems. I'm having trouble searching for caloric intake info. for an immobile elderly person. The Dr. just says "watch it". Can anyone give me some advice?
P.S.- She's telling me I don't care about her because I don't send my 18 yr. old, very strong son to pick her up when she ends up on the floor.
I had the same issue with my father a few years ago, only he needed to gain weight. He was dangerously thin. With the weight loss/gain calculator, I found out how many calories he needed to maintain his present weight at that time, and then added an extra 1,000 calories a day for a consistent two pound weight gain per week. One pound =3,500 calories, so if you shave off 500 calories a day from the amount of calories it takes in order for your mom to maintain her present weight, she should be able to lose 1lb per week. The link I attached should help you. If for some reason it doesn't work. Google weight loss calculator.
You will get good advice about nutrition here but you probably wont' want to hear what I am going to say, namely, you can't do what she is not willing to do. This all depends upon her willingness. If she is a foodie, then she will want the food. You cannot be the food police. It will wear you out very fast and you will receive no thanks for it.
Before you go too far, check our the web sites for Overeaters Anonymous (www.oa.org) and Al-Anon (www.Al-Anon.org). You will discover that there are many thousands out there living with addicts of all kinds who have learned to focus on themselves, fold their hands, and let it go.
The big so-what is that it isn't just about her. She wants to stay out of the NH, but she's getting to the point where she has trouble walking. Those extra pounds will make it so where she can't walk. But she won't want to go to the NH. She'll want me to bear the load of her binge eating by lifting and wheeling her around. I won't do that, so I try to curb her binge eating for her own good. I know the more she eats, the closer she is to losing her independence.
My mother had an eating disorder and was morbidly obese until her 50s, when she was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. I see what is going on now as just the same eating disorder. It would be irresponsible of me to not do what I can to curb it. If she is bored she can get up and do something. Eating is not the answer to boredom and will decrease the quality of life very quickly. Of course, with diabetes or a tendency toward morbid obesity or heart problems, it can create even more problems. It won't be just the person who is affected. The family and caregivers will be affected, too.
Do the CNAs have bad habits? Do they bring unhealthy food with them to work? I know that might be hard to control BUT it could be very hard on your mom to watch them eat ( or smell the aroma of) foods that she craves but can't have. See if you have any control over that element of her care. Explain the requirements to each person you hire so going in they understand. Once your mom gets control of her emotional eating it won't bother her as much and she won't be as tempted by her friends unhealthy offerings. It really doesn't take that long to stop the cravings once the sugar is cut out and it will help her thinking clear up as well. Comfort eating is a huge problem in our country and a lot of good information is available. Food is a drug. Good luck to the both of you.
See All Answers