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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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beegal, I assume it is your Dad who is living in assisted living and he doesn't want your Mom to move in with him..... is that correct?
It can be expensive to have both parents living in assisted living, would your parents be able to budget for that cost? If not, then its a good excuse why your Mom cannot move in with Dad. Or your Dad or you could use that as a "therapeutic fib" to try to change Mom's mind.
Not my mom. But he doesn't want her there, and its expected that he will pay for her room separately. Not sure who is legally responsible for bills like that.
If you are POA, you can stop her from moving into your dads room or unit.
They are correct that they can not legally tell her she can't become a resident of the facility if her care needs meet their criteria. However, you can move your dad to a different facility when she moves in and you can tell them that you have to move him because their actions, taking her in as a resident, create a hostile, unsafe, (or whatever the issue is) environment for your dad and his wellbeing has been compromised.
Maybe give the heads up that he will be moved if she becomes a resident.
He can also divorce her if she is a problem for him. Most states are no fault divorce and it is pretty simple to get a divorce.
I would imagine they cannot stop someone from living there; certainly they won't be in the same room. I know for myself, were my ex-husband coming in I would be going out. Sadly. I would let them know that. This would be a very uncomfortable situation.
Really need more info. Why doesn't Dad want her moving to the same facility? Does wife plan on living in the same room or one of her own.
My Moms facility had apts. Separate bath and bedroom with a kitchenette. Roomier than a room but still a little too much togetherness for two people. Moms also had 2 size in rooms. Hers was big enough for a twin bed, dresser, her chair, side table and table for her TV. Again even if bigger two small for 2 people.
Either way, I would talk to the Administrator about how this would cause problem with her being in the same vicinity. The facility doesn't need any problems other than what they already have. And who is making these arrangements for her? Maybe you can mention to them its not a wise choice because Dad does not want her there.
No way would she be in same room, but its expected that he has to pay for his room as well as hers. That's crazy amount of money. She doesn't have way to pay.
Are these two people separated? If not, then why wouldn't Dad be responsible to pay for her room? Even separated, he maybe required to pay for her care.
As I asked before, who is making these arrangements for her. Because they need to be made aware that moving her there is not wise and Dad refuses to pay for her to be there. Make the Administrator aware that Dad is not paying. Then she would need to get a lawyer and sue Dad which will take a while. In the meantime, they will have to place wife somewhere she can afford.
There is more to this story, I am sure. But if Dad is legally married to this woman she has legal rights. It depends on the state but usually half of the marital estate is hers. In some States, money made and property owned before the marriage are not part of the marital estate. So, Dad not wanting to pay for her care may not be a choice he has. I would consult with a lawyer.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It can be expensive to have both parents living in assisted living, would your parents be able to budget for that cost? If not, then its a good excuse why your Mom cannot move in with Dad. Or your Dad or you could use that as a "therapeutic fib" to try to change Mom's mind.
They are correct that they can not legally tell her she can't become a resident of the facility if her care needs meet their criteria. However, you can move your dad to a different facility when she moves in and you can tell them that you have to move him because their actions, taking her in as a resident, create a hostile, unsafe, (or whatever the issue is) environment for your dad and his wellbeing has been compromised.
Maybe give the heads up that he will be moved if she becomes a resident.
He can also divorce her if she is a problem for him. Most states are no fault divorce and it is pretty simple to get a divorce.
I know for myself, were my ex-husband coming in I would be going out. Sadly. I would let them know that. This would be a very uncomfortable situation.
My Moms facility had apts. Separate bath and bedroom with a kitchenette. Roomier than a room but still a little too much togetherness for two people. Moms also had 2 size in rooms. Hers was big enough for a twin bed, dresser, her chair, side table and table for her TV. Again even if bigger two small for 2 people.
Either way, I would talk to the Administrator about how this would cause problem with her being in the same vicinity. The facility doesn't need any problems other than what they already have. And who is making these arrangements for her? Maybe you can mention to them its not a wise choice because Dad does not want her there.
As I asked before, who is making these arrangements for her. Because they need to be made aware that moving her there is not wise and Dad refuses to pay for her to be there. Make the Administrator aware that Dad is not paying. Then she would need to get a lawyer and sue Dad which will take a while. In the meantime, they will have to place wife somewhere she can afford.
There is more to this story, I am sure. But if Dad is legally married to this woman she has legal rights. It depends on the state but usually half of the marital estate is hers. In some States, money made and property owned before the marriage are not part of the marital estate. So, Dad not wanting to pay for her care may not be a choice he has. I would consult with a lawyer.