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My Grandmother appointed me POA 6 years ago after deciding she was getting to the point where she needed someone to take care of her affairs when her eyesight and hearing diminished. Her children at the time were not willing to take care of her needs because of a family dispute. They left her in an assisted living facility and told her to fend for herself. She was scared and called me to help. I in turn called my lawyer to see what could be done to help her. He suggested a doing a durable power of attorney. So that is what we did. My grandmother was still able to sign her name and state what her wishes were. I was not at the facility when the document was signed by witnesses and her lawyer. Her children were notified by the administrator of the facility before this took place. No one came to stop the proceedings. No one made an attempt to contact her or myself. Now, she is 101 diagnosed with dementia and all of a sudden her children want guardianship of her. I was served court papers stating that they desired guardianship and that I desired to relinquish my POA. That was a false statement. My lawyer said to show up to court with my POA paperwork and present it to the judge. The judge said that POA had nothing to do with guardianship and that her children's stature of next of kin would be in their favor. I find out Monday what the court decides. We live in Michigan. I am not certain if that makes any difference. I am not familiar with the laws or bi-laws.

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One of her children is your mother or father. Why did they not step up to the plate?
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I'm not familiar with Michigan laws, but unfortunately for you, what the judge told you is, in general, the way it is.

There are so many duties that go along with being guardian over another. Paperwork, applying for funds to pay for things, reports to the court, court costs.

It might be a good thing for this obligation to come to an end for you. You can go back to being the granddaughter who visits grandma and you no longer have to worry about her medical or financial needs. Just trying to see it from a different point of view. I hope that Monday's decision is whatever you hope it to be.
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Interesting, isn't it? How all of the sudden after years of you having POA now your folks and aunts/uncles want guardianship. They being the children would have first consiseration. But, if your grandma made her wishes clear in the POA that she wanted you that should have higher priority. It will be intersting to see what the judge decides. Let us know the outcome.
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What did the judge make of the family dispute that led to your being your grandmother's first choice to have POA? I suppose if the dispute was of your grandmother's making - for example, the children told her to fend for herself because they had tried to help her and been obstructed at every turn, which can happen and don't we know it - and the judge felt that her children could not be suspected of any ulterior motives in wishing to obtain guardianship (???), then it makes a certain frail sense. But without knowing anything about the reasons for their having fallen out in the first place it's hard to comment.

Is it conceivable that your parents are not happy with your continuing to do the considerable amount of work involved? - and are keen for you to be relieved of it?

I'm just trying to imagine possible worthy motives on your parent's and his/her siblings' part rather than assume the worst of them all. Do you feel like explaining the background?
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The family dispute started after the passing of my father, my grandmothers son. His siblings were not willing to help grandma during this time. My father lived with her and she was very upset and distraught from his passing. Between me and my sister trying to take care of my fathers estate we were also left responsible for our grandmother. Yes she was competent, though she could not drive, she never had a drivers license in her entire life. She had just lost her only son. The one sibling I understood not being able to help. They have two adult handicapped children and I would have never asked them for help. They had enough to deal with. The other sibling, chose to make everything miserable, I understood they were grieving as well but someone had to step up and help his (my father) mother. In the end that was me and my sister. Note my grandmother also raised us as well. Our mother abandoned us when we were small and my father and grandparents raised us. So technically she was my mother so to speak. After about a year of disputing with the disgruntled sibling. My grandmother decided to give her property to my sister. My sister had already been given two acres before all of this happened many years ago. My father was to receive the property in the passing of my grandmother but in turn he ended up passing and the deed went back to her. So she wanted to make sure the property went to his children. I stepped back and said I didn't want it that she could do whatever she saw fit. So she sold it to my sister. Even though she wanted to give it without payment. My sister felt if she paid for it the other siblings wouldn't feel like she took advantage. My grandmother had a video made up telling her wishes and why she chose to give/sell my sister the property in case later on the siblings would cause problems for her. She wanted to tell the siblings about what she had done but felt if she did they would disown her for doing this. So she didn't. Months later she ended up going to live with one of the children and they talked her into going to assisted living. That is when the trouble started. After filling out paperwork the one child discovered what my grandma had done with her property and blew up. They came in and told my grandmother they were done helping her , that she (grandma) had lied to them. They were washing their hands of her and left her to fend for herself. That is when I was called and asked to help her.
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Note my POA did not go into effect until after this property dispute was settled.
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Thank you, Michigan, that's a very clear account.

Your grandfather had passed on prior to all of this, had he?

I don't know what to suggest. If the court is in possession of this very clear history I'm not sure why the judge isn't viewing you, pretty much, as your father's representative with, therefore, at least equal status to your aunts'. Are you being adequately represented in court by your attorney, do you think?

If your sister bought that land fair and square, years ago, I wouldn't have thought the aunts would be able to challenge that in any way. You've already demonstrated that you don't have a particular interest in inheritance, and in any case if your grandmother has been diagnosed with dementia and the court is on the point of agreeing with that to the extent of awarding guardianship I doubt if any guardian would be able to facilitate your grandmother's making a new will; so that's that potential factor off the table.

So what are your main concerns about their having guardianship? Are you worried that they won't deal properly with your grandmother? Or that they might try to prevent you and/or your sister from seeing her? Or is it just the ingratitude of their behaviour?
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I can't really say I am worried about my Grandmother's care. I know her children will be good to her. I guess I was just having a hard time letting go of taking care of her. I have done it for so long and feel hurt and betrayed that the others are now taking an interest after 6 long years have passed. I have done all the jumping thru hoops for the medical and financial to stay up to date on everything. I have contacted them when a crisis arose. I didn't feel I should have to contact them for minor problems. The one child only causes havoc on the personnel that care for my grandmother. I wanted a calm, undisturbed, comfortable environment for my grandmother. The people that have cared for her in assisted living and now in Long Term Care have been phenomenal. I could not have done such a wonderful job as they have. I will be ok if the judge rules in the others favor. But I don't agree with how it came to be. I was only trying to protect my grandmother and her caregivers from disgruntled family.
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I think I understand how you feel about the way they've behaved. Whatever their intentions were - perhaps they thought it was time they stopped sulking and did their fair share, or something like that - the way they have gone about things was a slap in the face to you, and poor thanks for all you have done for the family. They could at least have had the courtesy to consult you, for heaven's sake, and if they didn't intend to be insulting they have in that case been idiotic. So, no, I don't agree with the way they went about it, either. Stupid and thoughtless, and creating needless hard feelings.

But the important thing, as you realise, is what happens to your grandmother. Fractious Aunt might be a pain, I can understand that your heart might sink at the thought of her setting cats among pigeons the whole time; but unfortunately you can't easily get rid of somebody just because she has a disagreeable personality. And your grandmother raised her too, there's a thought. As you sow, so shall you reap…

I'm sorry all your hard work hasn't had more recognition. I hope the judge will have some compliments to pay you, and perhaps will stipulate your continued involvement - is that a possibility?
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I don't know about complimenting me. She did say she thought we were both good candidates. But I could almost tell she was leaning toward my Aunt. Whether it be just because she is the next of kin or because her husband is a county commissioner for the county we live and they know one another quite well. But I should hope it is the first of the assumptions. I would never want to be out of line in saying our justice system is corrupt. That would be very unlike me to say the least. Thanks for your insights. I am feeling more at ease with whatever the judge decides. I am anxious to move forward and put this behind me as a horrible learning experience.
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I have just lost POA for mom's hubby of eight years. He is competent for the most part and was "told" by his only daughter that lives 2000 miles away. Though she has hired a geriatric care manager to do for him what I was doing. It is like a kick in the gut and initially I was quite angry. And he did not realize the full impact of changing the POA, losingme and now a GCM he doesn't like very much. We will see what he decides to do, there is only one way, change the POA back. I don't think his attorney even talked with him. And he told me he did not understand what his daughter and the GCM were pulling off. Wait and see.
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Thank you gladimhere for sharing your story. I appreciate it. I hope everything turns out well for you and your family.
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The judge gave me guardianship over my Grandmother!! I am so excited and happy. The judge said she didn't have to, but seeing how I have been her POA for 6 years she could see I was the one to stay with. There is someone watching over me and my Grandmother. Thanks to all for your responses and supportive outlook. You really did help me overcome my fears of whatever outcome was to be of this situation.
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Michigan, CONGTATULATIONS!
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I'm delighted the judge weighed all the factors properly, and delighted that you're so delighted! Well done you. Be gracious with those aunts, now, won't you? Not that they're likely to come bothering you any time soon...
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I am still going to keep things the way they are. They can call and visit. Inquire about her health and are still invited to attend healthcare conferences. I hope they know how much they mean to their mother. She may have dementia but she still knows us all. I hope this will be the end of our family feud. The aunts may not like me much but I will not keep them from their mother, ever.
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Bless you, poppet. Just goes to show the judge knew what she was about, eh? Best of luck, hope things go well from here.
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You shouldn't assume that just because the siblings are seeking guardianship they will get it. By all means go to court to demonstrate your continued support of your grandmother. If you have been taking care of your grandmother for 6 years as her POA that says a lot. The judge should do what's in the best interest of your grandmother which may be appointing you as the guardian if you are interested in doing so. Also, had your grandmother ever expressed who she did NOT want to serve as her guardian in the event that she became incapacitated? This is the time to pull out that documentation or to express that to the judge. If you are competent, have integrity, and sincerely care for your grandmother I believe you have a good chance of being appointed as guardian yourself. Judges don't always rule in favor of children especially when there's a dispute. Good luck!
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Michigan - glad things went your way. I have a similar situation and thought maybe i can post it here
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My story is long and I won't bore everyone but my husband and I are taking care of his grandfather . He is almost 89 woth alzheimer's. My husbands grandfather has two daughters. one works and travels and is a single mom of a child in college the other one is retired as well as her husband and her other son does not work either , but we , a family struggling financially , supporting three children and both work are here taking care of him . We do live with him . we are trying to keep him in his home as long as possible . We did get him on Medicaid and Medicare title 19 and we have aides come in when we are at work . The family members that are not involved have now started questioning how we take care of him . Its been 2 years ! They call him up and question if he's eaten what he's eating if he's taking his medication . They are stopping by when the aides are here . Even though we asked them not to because it interferes with his care .they are more than welcome to visit him when they are not here as we cannot stop anyone from coming to see him. the house situation is very complicated it was signed over to his retired daughter because she's on ss disability and he will not lose his home and has life use . We do not speak to them due to a very bad dusagrement and their disrespectful manners. My grandfather in law is making our life very difficult , he almost eggs them on and complains . These things are not true I hear it with my own ears when I asked him about it he says he hasn't said it I don't know what part of that is his own personality which was similar to that before alzheimer's happened so I'm sure it's just worse now from this disease and now he's at the point where he is faking illnesses .i am sitting in the ER for hours at a time when nothings wrong with him he's saying that he's full from lunch when he has eaten lunch early and either refuses to eat dinner or will only eat half of it I'm already in therapy my husband's about to have a nervous breakdown. we cannot live like this and we don't know what the next step to do is. putting him in a home will only look like we're doing this out of spite however if he continues to fight us on eating properly all day I don't know what else we are supposed to do. we are his powers of attorney and we are in charge of his health and wellbeing we need to do what's best for him we have gotten no help from the agency or the Agency on Aging as far as telling his family to stop interfering with his care during the day so we really don't know what to do. His daughter that is causing trouble has become vindictive and will probably kick is out soon. ...
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Please dont tell me these lawyers are from lapeer.
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Nettiem I think you might do better to ask your own question; because you haven't got to the point where you're disputing possible guardianship applications, have you? You can do that by typing in the "Get Answers" box in the right hand margin of the page and following the instructions from there. First of all, though, have a think about what exactly you would like to do about your GFIL's care going forward. It sounds as if you and your family are in a very difficult situation.
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Countrymouse. Do yku mean stsrt my own question? Im sorry if I rambled on here. I feel stumbling upon this site was a blessing but I dont want ti abuse it. Im very stressed .
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Don't worry! It's hard to go wrong, and stressed people is what the site is for :)

Yes, do start your own question - if you look to the right of the screen (assuming you're using a pc or something that's got a decent-sized screen) you'll see the blue box there headed Get Answers and you just type in a headline, click on Ask, and then it'll take you to another dialog box where you can fill in the details, which you then post. You could always copy, cut and paste your post on this thread earlier, if you like. Best of luck
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PS - you didn't ramble, and besides everyone does. Don't worry, again.
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