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Does the primary physician have any reluctance to discuss or deal with this? Although what MindingOurElders said is true legally, ie. you needing to have Health Care Power of Attorney, etc., I have found it very few and far inbetween when a caregiver is given any pushback from a long-standing primary physician about being involved.

It may be that he/she is just too busy to know the state of your mom and all it takes is a phone call from you to update them, and get the ball rolling.

If you are the one dealing with the incontinence and being bedridden, then you are probably exhausted -- try to get someone to help out! You don't need to be having to run around to lawyers and making and scheduling calls.
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I would think the person has to have rights to health information on your mom before hospice can intervene. If she has signed HIPAA papers then you or the others who have access to her medical file could do this.

An elder attorney could look over things to see what can be done.
Hospice is generally a very good choice. Good luck to you,
Carol
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