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How are they managing their medications?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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The simple answer is yes. Lack of sleep, constant stress, constantly on the go physically and mentally will drain you. You may be having stress related symptoms. As our loved ones decline there is more and more added to our plate. Not only are you caring for them but also your family, still doing the usual housework along with all of the extra chores that come along with caring for someone, ie bathroom clean up (usually a couple times a day) lots of extra laundry, meal prep and planning, bedding changes, doctors and medication management, their bills and your bills, the list goes on and seems neverending. Your migraines may be a symptom of stress overload, the fatigue and general not feeling good could be lack of sleep, not eating and taking care of yourself. We tend to put our needs and wants last to accommodate everyone else. Since she is on hospice, talk to her nurse or social worker, they have volunteers who will come visit mom while you can run to the store, get a haircut, or just carve out some me time. Not an easy road to travel. Maybe the suggestion about a weeks repite care and you guys get away for a couple of days to recharge would help. I would suggest a cleaning service to help out if you can afford it, I couldn't do it, not just because of the cost but also because I'm the weirdo who would've cleaned before they got there🤣
I had Caregiver Burnout about 5 years ago. I checked myself into the local hospital ( they assigned me to the mental behavioral unit). Symptoms for me were excessive crying, a feeling of hopelessness, despair and extreme exhaustion/fatigue. No flu like symptoms. It feels like a complete nervous or other breakdown. My psych doc told me it's a growing epidemic. He changed my meds and counseled me while i was hospitalized. And even if you are feeling better, they will not let you leave. All of the entrances and exits are locked down. It's a frightening experience.
It must be scary. But it’s proof how far burn out can go. No one should ever sit in judgment of caregivers burning out. Happens to the best of caregivers because of lack of support and simply too much to handle.
When my friend who never got a break from her teen son with severe autism, she attempted suicide. She stayed for awhile in the hospital and then had intensive outpatient therapy. Her ex husband had to take the son when she was hospitalized.
Her situation was so trying. Her son was non verbal and violent. She had bipolar disorder. I think he had more than autism. They were both on several psych meds and to make the situation worse, she was a former nurse and thought she could adjust their meds herself instead of the psychiatrist.
The simple answer is absolutely. I had them and my digestive issues were worse. I have mentioned this on here before but I also ended up in the ER with an irregular heartbeat and they checked me out, got it calmed down, and sent me to a cardiologist who did an echo, did the treadmill, and another echo immediately and he said it was stress related. He asked me if I was having "issues" that were causing stress and I told him that I had a Mom with multiple issues including dementia that I had just got into a nursing facility but running back & forth, and my Dad's health was in decline in a big way so I had two I was running back & forth to check on and line up caregivers who were calling me all the time when I was not there. He said for me to let go of all but the totally necessary trips and doctor appointments and have a talk with the caregivers or I would end up in that nursing home with my mother! His words! I knew it in the back of my mind but the body will MAKE you slow down or take you down if you are under a lot of stress or obligations. I am in my sixties so it was harder and harder. Both of my dear parents have now passed (Mom last year) and I loved them and miss them but when you read these posts about the effects of major caregiving on the caregiver relative, they are TRUE. God bless you and I wish you good luck. Final words are......please take care of yourself.
Oh your comments are so true!! This is exactly what I'm going through in my life right now. I'm a caregiver for my husband who has Parkinson's, Vascular Dementia, and several other health issues. I have a couple of caregiver helpers, but still feel the need to help give emotional as well as hands-on help. I feel alone, stressed, I worry about our financial situation, and feel like no one really understands where I'm coming from. Sometimes I feel like I don't know if I'm coming or going and at the end of the day have no idea what to do to rectify the situation and just feel like giving up. I also feel depressed, tired & sleepy, crying a lot, and on top of all that there are family issues going on and some not getting along with each other. I feel I have no one to turn to who can understand where I'm coming from. Someone please pray for me!!!! :(
Since going over all your wonderful answers ... I don’t think it’s my services that I perform that stresses me out (my love language is acts of service). I think what stresses me most is when the day starts listing to see if she is still breathing then listening to her moan from pain that she thinks is not being addressed (it is) and then cleaning up her mistakes in the bathroom to then having her act like a young woman when her aides come in. Then they leave and I’m left with this person who cannot articulate a conversation with me. I’ll really make resting a priority. Thank you for all your answers.
Well not flu per se. I am fit and yet feeling very tired. My doctor says I am physically healthy. Just wondered if this is burnout with mom or what. Thank you
Yes that and having your body/joints ache all over - feeling exhausted both mentally and physically and emotionally. Not being about to find joy in things you once did. Not wanting to even get out of bed. And I don't have it near as bad as many on here. But I'm just really, really tired today - tired of being a caretaker. I'm looking into other options whether she likes it or not. Take care of yourself.
I saw a clinical counselor to help me in dealing with my mom .. what I found is that is was ME who had to change & not JUST with my mom - when I changed, I changed slightly how I interacted with everyone .. because it wasn't them who changed, but me.. What I learned was how to set HEALTHY BOUNDARIES and stand up for myself... it has made ALL the difference in the world. My mom is in a seniors home & I visit a couple times a week for an hr or so and she comes to dinner most Sunday's. I also get her to app'ts & we go to coffee or lunch after ... She is VERY much a martyr & has always been controlling perfectionist (from her life growing up which she's never worked at healing - I'VE done healing fr me & why I'm still (only child) in her life. You MUST do what is right for yourself - even the limited am't I do takes a toll on me.. she is continually negative & although she interacts with others at meals doesn't she does NO activities so she is bored & isolated ... I tell her "I can't make you happy, if you're not partaking in any activities that is a choice you're making which isolates you more" It's not easy, all our situations are different b/c of the parent/child dynamic... I would urge you to get some counselling & think of yourself ... put on your oxygen mask first .. Seeking help, helps you with not worrying about what other's say .. guilt is so prevalent.. I can tell you feel that ♥
I know exactly those burn out symptoms. But as mentioned, we often don't recognise them until our body has gone on high alert, or completely crashed, with symptoms which cause excessive crying, body aches, doctors visits for new unexplained symptoms, loss of healthy social connections, loneliness. Interestingly, when there was a social occasion, I found myself talking about the care of my parents, just like a new mum does of her baby. We feel guilty and worried, if we are not available, or checking. We have a multitude of responsibilities we take on board, like appointments, finances, organising services, checking Care Facilities are actively delivering the Care we are relying on and paying for and of course spending quality time with our loved ones. OUR own lives are put on hold all too often and it is almost impossible to make inroads into all that we are neglecting on our own Homefront. It is a constant battle of "catch up". BUT THE ONE THING THAT COULD HAVE MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE WOULD HAVE BEEN THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT IN AN EMPATHETIC , LOVING AND PRACTICAL WAY, of my siblings. As care givers we can feel very much alone and unappreciated and ignored and often mocked as if we have a problem beyond that of Care Giving. YAY TO THIS FORUM, where we get to know we are not alone in our experiences. There are no easy answers. Care Giving is HARD in so many ways. We all deserve to know we are important, special people and take advice from this forum, try to find the strength and means to treat yourselves in some way, especially some time out.
Hello everyone. I went to the doctors today and I have a humdinger of an ear infection and stopped up sinuses. Thank you all for having me get checked out. Hopefully between my resting more and getting rid of this problem I will be back on track soon. I want to thank each and every comment. This site is always so supportive. I know I will find information and super nice people here. Again, thank you.
So glad you will be on the road to recovery. Just remember, b urnout and anxiety can mimic just about ANYTHING, but you still have to have it checked out, because look here!
You have indeed gotten some great answers of support here. An additional option for respite care may be your area agency on aging. But I agree, hospice has amazing res vices and they would be the best place to start. My sister and I have experienced my mother having a “great day” with the staff at her memory care, only to fall apart when we visit. I have read others report similar experiences here two-loved ones seeming to do very well with non-family caregivers, and then all the symptoms are on full display for family caregivers. It’s hard to know what causes this phenomenon and it surely does mess with your head. No matter what else happens though, it is critical that you find ways to care for yourself. When you are empty, you’ll have nothing for your loved ones. Wishing you peace and strength.
I’ve seen it firsthand as well. Falling apart when I’m around but totally normal in front of everyone else. I read that they don’t have the capacity to be manipulative but no answers as to why they are fine with everyone who isn’t stuck caring for them. Why do they save the hard behavior for us when love is normally our only motivation? It makes it so much harder😢
Hi... I thought about your question first...I believe that the way you worded it says oodles! Here's why: Your question almost has the answer in it. If you're not feeling well, is it suddenly? Is it something you never felt.? I think that you ARE burned out because you already attribute your sick to your caregiving.. If you [were not] burned out, you would have not posted here... Something to think about
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When my friend who never got a break from her teen son with severe autism, she attempted suicide. She stayed for awhile in the hospital and then had intensive outpatient therapy. Her ex husband had to take the son when she was hospitalized.
Her situation was so trying. Her son was non verbal and violent. She had bipolar disorder. I think he had more than autism. They were both on several psych meds and to make the situation worse, she was a former nurse and thought she could adjust their meds herself instead of the psychiatrist.
I’ll really make resting a priority. Thank you for all your answers.
What I learned was how to set HEALTHY BOUNDARIES and stand up for myself... it has made ALL the difference in the world.
My mom is in a seniors home & I visit a couple times a week for an hr or so and she comes to dinner most Sunday's. I also get her to app'ts & we go to coffee or lunch after ...
She is VERY much a martyr & has always been controlling perfectionist (from her life growing up which she's never worked at healing - I'VE done healing fr me & why I'm still (only child) in her life.
You MUST do what is right for yourself - even the limited am't I do takes a toll on me.. she is continually negative & although she interacts with others at meals doesn't she does NO activities so she is bored & isolated ... I tell her "I can't make you happy, if you're not partaking in any activities that is a choice you're making which isolates you more"
It's not easy, all our situations are different b/c of the parent/child dynamic... I would urge you to get some counselling & think of yourself ... put on your oxygen mask first ..
Seeking help, helps you with not worrying about what other's say .. guilt is so prevalent.. I can tell you feel that ♥
I thought about your question first...I believe that the way you worded it says oodles!
Here's why:
Your question almost has the answer in it. If you're not feeling well, is it suddenly? Is it something you never felt.?
I think that you ARE burned out because you already attribute your sick to your caregiving..
If you [were not] burned out, you would have not posted here...
Something to think about
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