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Just asking for a dear friend who has helped a widower.

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No the caregiver cannot, unless they are left something in the will. Sometimes elderly people being cared for by someone will say, "I'm going to take care of you in my will." This type of promise is "as good as the paper it's written on," as they say.

If the caregiver has a personal-services contract with the deceased, he/she may claim a debt against the estate. Their claim will need to be well-documented and they will need to submit an an employment contract.
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Jazzy,

This is a 3rd party asking the questions. The Caregiver may not even care.

More to this story. You say Widower and then you say her. Are you talking about a woman helping a women. If you are, then these could be friends and I know my friend would never expect anything. Now if its a woman taking care of a widower, there may be more than just friendship.

Whatever, it would be nice if the family gave the Caregiver something. No law says they have to. Would have been nice if something was left in the will if not.

You know it takes a while to probate a will. Bills have to be paid. Assets liquidated. In the end there maybe no money.
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Why would any caregiver even consider such an action? You're not there to "get," you're there to "give" care, comfort, support, love, to the senior you've agreed to take care of. You went into that situation knowing the pay rate, and what you're being paid for. But, most times, once your client breathes their last, you will cease to exist to the family. Your pay stops then. I'm a "private pay" caregiver. I don't just 'take on a client," I get the entire bundle - family. My client is gone, as is pay, but that family still needs me, in the sense of helping to take care of cleaning the home, doing the laundry, etc. Things to get the home ready for the "after laying to rest" of their loved one. I don't expect compensation; I do this out of respect and care. However, the family has "junk" they don't know what to do with, so they'll ask you if you'd care to have it. That being said, I have acquired two sewing machines; 1 brand new, in a cabinet, singer, 1 antique singer, mid 1800's. Valued over 5k. Family knew this, gave anyway. And now the kicker; had my lady over 12 years, so after the laying to rest, the family got home, & I was waiting. Had brought in several items to serve, along with everything else, & had it laid out, ready to serve. I "catered" to my family this day, but when I was ready to leave, they handed me an envelope. I opened it, and inside I found several hundred dollars, papers giving me the entire contents of my client's home, but that wasn't all; the family had signed over the DEED to the house, to me.! Said that I had taken better care of their Mom, and her home better than they had, and felt I had earned it. Of course, I did refuse this amazing gift, but it didn't work. The home was mine, to do with as I chose. I didn't need this house, so I sold it, for $195 K $. I notified the family, offered the money, but they wanted nothing of it. I was truly blessed. POINT BEING; You get what you give. "GIVE" BEING KEY WORD HERE. You do not "file a claim," you do not "take." If you do your job well, and the family wants to "reward" you, that's a blessing. Quit being a greedy, grab all person. Not what you're there for, and if that's your attitude, you're not a "caregiver" -- you're a selfish, greedy person.
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That would be detailed or stated in the elder's will.
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Hopefully there is a will that would be honored. It's hard to make a will if the person is already mentally impaired. I have POA for a friend of almost 48 years and am also executor of his estate. His will was made years ago and I know what his wishes are if any estate is left. I have him placed in a memory care apartment, pay all his bills (using his own money), visit once a week to check on things. I am doing this out of friendship and expect nothing in return. I don't claim mileage when I take him to the eye doctor or dentist. I have some of his personal family photos and things to send to a distant cousin, but have gotten rid of all the rest of his things except for what he needs to live with now. It is because of friendship that I get to provide this help. I don't know the details of the caregiver's relation to the person she is giving care to add any further advice, just sharing how I am handling things.
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Anyone can file a claim, but I would think there needs to be a contract to be considered. And if you expected to be paid, why hasn't it been discussed while person is alive. It does appear caregiver expects something or this probably wouldn't be posted.

Seems a little strange that someone would file a claim against an unknown amt in an estate (what's left upon death) versus asking for pay right now. That alone would indicate to me there was no real expectation of payment since you couldn't even know what might be left in 1 year, 5 yrs, or more.

Perhaps this started as friendly gesture and turned in to more FT work. Talk to patient or his family and explain the effect on caregiver finances, if any.
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Isthisrealyreal Jun 2019
My2cents, there could have been a verbal agreement. If you tell a person that you are willing to do xyz for abc in a future payment, you doing xyz shows the intent of fulfilling your agreement. Contract laws are pretty specific, yet most of us are completely unaware, but businesses know. Like getting a letter from a company or person that addresses some issues of work performed, if you don't respond within 30 days, in writing stating your position, you have agreed to their letter by not responding.

We don't know how this all happened, but we can all learn to say, pay up as I provide the care.

You are spot on about this could have started as a friendly gesture. Some people become needy and others don't know how to say no and mission creep begins. So a friendly gesture turns into a daily need, to an hourly need.
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You can make a claim, anyone can but I don't think it will be successful. The decent thing would be for the person who is ill to make a will and provide something for a most valued friend or caretaker. Don't just give it all to family because they are family, especially if they have a lot and did not help much. Failing that, I would hope the family of the deceased has enough decency on their own to give the caretaker something afterwards - but don't count on it. Families can be very selfish.
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I feel like it depends on how much "caregiving" the friend gave. Visiting once in awhile? picking up the odd grocery item? Or hands on 8 hours a day for the tough stuff? If she "did it as a dear friend would do",, then I have to assume she was just being a good person, and would not want to paid by the estate. I have several "dear friends" who helped out with dad, and they never expected anything in return.. as a "dear friend" would not. I sort of feel like Malina may be the "dear friend". I help out a friend or two, and it would never dawn on me to ask for money, but that's just me
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Isthisreallyreal said, " Aanyone can make a claim for debt against anyone's will. Crazy law but it exists." If the person has an oral or (better) written contract for services, and the services were delivered according to the contract, the person has every right to make a claim for the sums owed under the contract. Not crazy at all.
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Isthisrealyreal Jun 2019
Judy, the crazy part is that a complete stranger that you have never met can make a claim against your will. I was not referring to this specific situation, I feel awful that's how it reads.

I do think it's crazy that anyone can make a claim, there should have to be some connection instead of what it is. Not that people get anything but the estate still has to pay the additional fees because of the claim.
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Aanyone can make a claim for debt against anyone's will. Crazy law but it exists. The burden of proof is on the claimant and it is at the judge's discretion to pay the bill or not.

When the will goes to probate it is advertised in the news paper under legal notices, that allows any and all that have outstanding debts to be able put a request in to the court to get paid.

It is not an easy process but it is the route that would be taken.

She is not entitled to anything if she does not have a caregiver contract, but it could be determined that she has a case for payment of services rendered. As any other legal case it is a 50/50 chance if she has proof of the debt.
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Your friend may not be rewarded on Earth, for her good deeds, but she will be rewarded at a much higher level.
If your friend did this for several years, and money was never mentioned or given, then she did this in a loving and genuine way.
Way would you think she would want money now? Just wondering
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Absolutely not unless there was a caregiver's contract set up by an eldercare attorney, or a Will.
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malina Jun 2019
thank you hun
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No is the sad answer. It is good for others to know that this is the answer if you are doing things without pay. If there was an agreement in writing to be paid, then there is a claim on the estate. It would even be difficult for the inheritors of the estate to leave her something out of the estate. The inheritors will receive, under a certain amount, the estate tax free, but if they attempt to "give away" money after getting it there are gift tax consequences.
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No.
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Its sad, but if he had told her he would leave her something, he needed to put it in the will.
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malina Jun 2019
thank you hun
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Was she being paid for her serves? If so, IMO, she is only entitled to backpay. She would need to submit a bill to the estate.

If she did this for nothing, thats her mistake. She should have had something in writing saying she would be paid such and such. No, she is not entitled to any of the estate if nothing is said in the will. In a perfect world, it would be nice if family gave her something but not everyone thinks that way.
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malina Jun 2019
thank you hun but no she wasnt paid , she did it as a dear friend would help ...so i guess she wont get nothing i get it now ...poor lady offering help for the last couple of years and not be rewarded...All good
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hi margaret

thank you, will look into it but i know she wont be included in the will as she has kids and they never looked after her
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Claim? As of right? No.

But. If your dear friend has been left high and dry financially as a result of having given time and care to this person, it might be worth getting in touch with the deceased person's executors and asking if they would consider offering your friend some assistance in return. Do you know anything about how the estate was left?
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malina Jun 2019
hi countrymouse

as in a right since shes been looking after her for over 2yrs or 3
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Simple answer, no, unless it's left in the will. Yet another situation where a contract at the time would be the best solution.
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