Can a sole caregiver with DPOA and MPOA assign themselves a reasonable stipend or salary?

UPDATE: I finally got through to the lawyer's office (County Legal Aid Lawyer), only to learn that they only write the legal douments, and if there are any subsequent issues over them, they do not do any follow-up consultations or mediation - we would have to go to another lawyer or professional mediator for that.

Can't afford that, so we went back to my Uncle's friend who lives at a NH, and re-hashed all the issues again with the objective to reach some compromises and agreements. In front of his friend, I informed my Uncle that due to his continuing incorrigable attitude and lack of cooperation, that my personal mental and physical health were being seriously affected - and that after today, if no agreements were reached, I would give notice to the lawyer of my intent to quit as POA effective Dec 1st, and immediately start arrangements for the State to take over his care, and after that was in place, I would be out of his life permanently. His friend knew I was really serious by this time, and he asked my Uncle if he really wanted to lose me. I guess that really got his attention, because he said he really wanted me to continue taking care of him and would listen to me.

So after 3 hours of pretty intense negotiation, we reached the following agreements:
1 - Reasonable monthly amount of petty cash for Uncle to keep in his wallet for misc. personal expenditures.
2 - A nominal monthly stipend for caregiver services (officially covering 20 hours, in reality averages 60 hours), plus some compensation for gasoline and a 60 minute phone card. It's the principal of the thing - I am consciously aware that I am allowing him to take advantage of me monetarily, but the caregiver contract basically garners his respect for my services, and makes him realize he can no longer take me for granted.
3 - Acknowledgement of the practicality of direct-deposit and automatic bill-paying services by the bank - both time-wise and for accurate documentation of income and expenditures.
4 - He agreed to allow me to exercise100% control as POA - basically acknowledging he trusts me - which was the point of the POA assignments to begin with!
5 - Agreement to see eye doctor in order to get an updated 'Certif of Legal Blindness' which is required by the Commission for the Blind before they will even come out to evaluate him.
6 - Agreement to accept lessons in Mobility Training with the proper type of cane used by the blind.

We could not get him to agree to hearing aids, but after 3 hours of negotiation, we figured that was enough for one day. So we will see how it goes. I am continuing to leave him to his own daily self-management within reason, keeping in frequent contact by phone on a daily basis, day and night. I am available for any urgent issues or emergency 24/7, and will not leave him physically unattended more than 2 days regardless of any issues - he needs to be personally checked up on and given routine domestic assistance by the 3rd day. This week I am going to complete the on-line bill paying arrangements (saves me about 10 hours/mo.), and follow-up on the supermarket shopping by a local elder care service (small fee-well worth it), which could save me about 5 hours/mo.

So we finally made some progress - we will see how it plays out in actual practice!

Our attorney said any compensation needed to be written up in the POA or it was invalid.

I've been super busy with open heart surgery and a SNF blow up so I haven't been on lately (sorry). Good Luck with everything.

Another option I think might help... A contract written up naming you a care manager with compensation. This was another idea offered to me from our attorney. It has to be worded right for Medicare to accept but it would (or could) offer you compensation. And if there is enough money still hire some help.

Most Durable Powers of Attorney are written in such a way that there is no compensation for fiduciary responsibilites. In your case, it is probably a good idea to give up being your uncles DPOA.

My case was different, but I did reimburse, my nephew. He was mother's POA and had to drive a great distance, at first, to get her settled into the nursing home. Mother wouldn't have dreamed of him, taking time and money from his own pocket to handle her affairs. I paid him, out of Mother's joint acc't $500.00 per month for 2 months.

You did good! I wish I understood why people won't wear hearing aides. The minute my hearing starts to go, I am going for an appointment.

What a blessing for you! Did you literally feel a weight lifted? ;-)

Ditto on the hearing aides. My MIL did the same thing.

Great job Orange Blossom. Sometimes you have to play hard ball with people to have them understand you're serious, which is ironic because you're trying to HELP your uncle. It sounds like you've gotten a lot accomplished in hashing out an agreement with your uncle. Thank goodness for his friend in the NH, it sounds like it wouldn't have happened without his support.

I think the hearing aids aren't perfect. They have their own issues and people don't like to wear them. My dad had them and never wore them unless I told him I wouldn't talk to him unless he put them in. My mom needs them but won't go to get new ones (she has some that she's never worn since she got them).

OrangeBlossom, keep us posted on how it's going. I hope your Uncle will settle in with letting you do what you can for him.

Thanks Julidu, The question may be a moot point. You probably haven't seen my previous post, but I'm about to give up the POA's for my Uncle. In the likelihood that he wants to have me continue (he is being a very difficult person in the 2 months I have had the POA's), this is one of the issues we are going to discuss with the lawyer. This is a question I have been curious about and wondered if anyone else had done it.

Thank you everyone for your replies and support. I like the idea of a care contract with compensation. It is all so confusing and I am looking forward to talking with the lawyer. There ought to be an instruction book on how to correctly manage DPOA duties. My Uncle's lack of cooperation, plus the money issues, are wearing me down to the point that it is affecting my health as well as my own financial status. We are at an impasse over his willingness to let me do the job of financial POA that he granted to me. He will never agree to pay me adequately, and even though it is not ALL about the money for me, I am aware that I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of by continuing to care for him to the extent that I do - but I also know he has no one else. I really need to find a decent paying job, and I cannot work any consistent hours under the present circumstances. Logic tells me to quit, but my heart struggles thinking he will end up miserable in a NH once the state takes over (even though he is effectively bringing it upon himself). Ironically, I'm still researching additional resources for him, like the VA aid & assistance and possible entitlement to a little known VA pension program, and the State Commission for the Blind. All this takes up so much time - so much internet research and phone time. These past 2 weeks I have been making a concerted effort to spend as little physical time with him as possible - basically do what I have to do for him in his apt and leave asap. I find I can leave him alone for up to 2 days, after making sure he has enough food, medicine and clean laundry. However, even if I do not see him, I still call him every morning, during the day to check on him, and at night before bed. He calls me every day no matter what, at least 3 times, so we are in frequent contact anyway (and he has the Life Alert wristband). I'm trying to cut down on my "face-time" and total hours working for him both inside and outside of his apt. I'm basically just ranting tonight - not looking for any more answers. By this time next week, I hope to inform everyone of what I've found out from the lawyer and other resources.