Since we added several caregivers, my mom has shown increased cognitive decline. Wondering if the stream of strangers flowing in and out of her life is contributing to it.
I'm keeping the caregivers regardless; it's a matter of mental health for me. But anyway, I wonder...?
Any caregiving position I ever took always came with an explanation to the family that I am not a child care provider or servant to them. I will not spoon-feed a client who is still capable of getting food into their own mouth because it's faster and makes less of a mess to do it for them. I won't. I'll clean the mess up. I always made clients of mine be pro-active in their own care as much as this was possible. Small things like making them comb their own hair or looking after the soap and holding the washcloth when it's showering time. Some clients I've had were totally invalid and all they could still do was hold on to the bed rail during their diaper changes. I always encouraged them to do it and thanked them for it.
As a caregiver I would create "chores" for my clients to do. Things like folding laundry, sorting socks, clipping coupons.
Everybody in my neighborhood used to drop off the Sunday paper with all the coupons at my house for my care clients. I'd give them a pair of childrens' scissors and go to it. Some were in advanced dementia and couldn't manage that, so they ripped the coupons out with their hands. Fine with me. It gave them something to do and made them feel productive. People need to feel productive even when they have dementia. A person with dementia goes down faster when they're treated like infants with everything done for them.
Observe how your mother's caregivers interact with her. If they're treating her like a baby waiting on her hand and foot, put a stop to that fast.
EXCELLENT.
i bet you were a wonderful hired caregiver!!
"A person with dementia goes down faster when they're treated like infants with everything done for them."
use it, or lose it.
they start forgetting how to do it themselves.
"When an elderly client is treated like a baby they become like one."
YES.
i've noticed caregivers who speak in a baby voice to elderly people.
(they mean no harm, but it's very bad).
the elderly person also stars mimicking and speaking in a baby voice, when they're totally an adult and in many ways totally capable.
i bet you were an awesome caregiver, burnt!
i know you're still caring for your mother.
hug!! :)
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dear OP,
:)
i'm sure you're doing an awesome job with your mother.
we had many caregivers at some point (agency). very annoying. i had to explain over and over, to new people what needs to be done please.
(we had a list that was very clear, but many caregivers didn't want to read.).
i hired private caregivers.
we had enormous luck. they are very kind, competent -- and now we don't need to rotate between many new people.
but often there's no choice:
for a long time, we had that agency (in other words, almost every day, new caregivers).
you're doing your absolute best, OP.
i'm certain you're an awesome daughter!
bundle of joy :)
Every day she told the same stories over and over. I asked the family permission to take her out for adventures, just the two of us. We'd sit by the lake or go junking in a couple old barns turned antique shops, that kind of stuff. Every time, the new stimuli would spark memories she'd forgotten. She had new stories! It gave her so much joy to rediscover these things.
There's a connection I'd like to draw from this to your situation, but I'm lacking the words/terminology to do it.
There certainly can be a connection between external factors and behavior (good or unwanted). I think memory care units use controlled stimuli.....
https://alzheimersproject.org/the-importance-of-routine-and-familiarity-to-persons-with-dementia/
And a word to Rosa:
Perhaps you can find a nice and warm caregiver, of your mom's preference. Maybe that will make it easier for her?