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I'm out of work caring for my 49 year old husband who had stroke.

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Runbren, it is sad to be in this situation, particularly when you are so young. Disability has really strong rules, so you wouldn't be able to quality by being a caregiver to someone who is disabled. Your thinking is right, though, since caring full-time for someone can be a disability.

What is your husband's prognosis? I wondered if it might be a good idea if he is able to get better for you to return to work. There are day programs that may be good for him. It will allow you to continue to earn money for living and toward your retirement. Sometimes we have to have help from other people and places to keep our lives working.

I also think that going to work will be good for you mentally when you are able. It gives you connection to other people and helps to keep your relationship with your husband more healthy.

Does your husband qualify for any benefits, such as those through the VA? Does he receive Medicaid with his disability? Sometimes you can get a small amount of caregiving money if he qualifies through Medicaid or the VA. Please let us know how it goes.
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You can get family leave but...they will have you use up vacation and personal time. Check with your HR person to see if you get paid. Each state may vary.
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No you can only get disability benefits when you yourself are disabled. BUT if he stays out of work permanently and ends up on SSDI, you would collect as his dependent spouse.
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