Will try to keep brief. Mom battled Dementia for 5 yrs. Spring of '12 - July '13 her @$$ of a husband refused to cooperate and disclose his assets so that i could hopefully get her qualified for a little county help (someone to help me by coming in and cleaning a few days, help with showers etc. to give me a little break from the Depends life that she was now living). He has money, she never did yet she paid for everything other than the house pymt (HIS house) so this drained her SS income dry. He always had a drinking problem in their 17 yr marraige but now the drinking really escalated as this is how he coped.
Fast forward to July 2013...more and more mom would slip off the bed and onto the floor and was too weak to pull herself up (arthritis), if it was at night, he was too drunk to or passed out so I would either get a screaming ph call from him in the night or the Life Alert folks or sherriffs dept. He fell twice in a wk and gashed his head which landed him in the hospital and mom finally in a NH (she couldn't be left aone).
July-Dec, 2013 mom was in the NH...my out of state sister and I tried frantically to get her approved oin Medicaid, it never did go through because of his prenup stating he wasn't responsible for her and a law changed in Nov. which of course upheld this prenup now.
Fast forward, finally settle the NH bill from $22k+ down to $14k. Out of 4 girls in my family, the one sister and split the bill (I had to take out a loan) and we paid it. (Finally) my Questions: 1) Can we each claim that $7000 on our taxes? 2) I still have several hundred dollars worth of bills coming to me (I was the POA for Medical and Co-POA for Financial)...am I responsible for these? I do not have extra money and of course mom didn't as I mentioned.
Sorry for the long post...for this last year when I feel like I deserved the right to grieve...all I've had is legal/financial battles with her lying, selfish drunk of a husband...instead of grieving one of the most beautiful selfless persons that ever lived. I miss her so much it hurts....
I live in Wisconsin. Thanks for letting me vent.
Don't know about the tax situation.
Thank you for taking the time to respond.
I still don't understand why you had to pay this. Durable POAs are only responsible for paying bills using the person they are POA of, and not from their own money.
I know that I was bullied into a similar situation with my own parent who lived out of state.
There is a state of Wisconsin Long Term Care Ombudsman who negotiates these types of issues. It is actually against the law to kick someone out of a NH without a safe place to go.
Check with the IRS free phone line to find out about claiming the 7K.
Good luck. You would not be liable for any debts for your Mother as her POA, above what money she had.
Good Luck
With regard to the nursing home, if you checked her in pending Medicaid but signed as yourself instead of signing as her POA and keeping her responsible for expenses related to her own care (easy mistake to make under stress), you are the responsible party for charges. If Medicaid had been granted, your mother would still have had a share of cost for care, and the husband would have had to cough up part or all of mother's social security to the nursing home. That is probably why he didn't cooperate if her SS was paying for his lifestyle.
Your POA died with your mother. Payment of medical bills are the responsibility of the executor of her estate, not you as POA, unless you signed as the guarantor at hospital etc. You had best review all of the paperwork to make sure you are not "on the hook" as you were at nursing home. If your mother's husband was executor, send them after husband for payment. BUT GET PROFESSIONAL ADVICE AS THIS IS MUCH TOO COMPLICATED TO GIVE ACCURATE ANSWER WITHOUT REVIEWING ALL THE PAPERWORK INVOLVED.