I have had my disability to my earliest memory but was only on SS for 4 years after my dad died when I was 14 under my mom's widow's benefits. In 2011 I applied for SS after my husband had a mental breakdown & quit working. I have never worked outside of the home. I now get SSI, my husband worked under the table most of his life so I could not get spousal benefits. When filling out the SSI paperwork it asked if I was disabled before age 22 & had a deceased od disabled parent. I was not sure what to put as I thought you had to be on SS as a child to get benefits from your parent so I said I was disabled at 18, I thought I had to go from when I was an adult, & did not put that my dad died when I was 14.
Would I be eligible for my dad's SS benefits? My husband died, he was also on SSI, May, 2015 taking my benefits down to $733 a month.
If you have not applied for Medicaid in your state, do that as well as meals on wheels, and check your local transport options for disabled persons. You might not make more SSI but you might reduce expenses. Sorry your husband's choices left you in a bad spot.
However. Do you have an alternative? If not, and it certainly doesn't sound like it, then I'm afraid it's back to the drawing board - get back on the phone and start again.
Now look. Forget fraud; and for heaven's sake drop the attitude towards people who are only suggesting common sense in avoiding what could be serious trouble. When you are asked when you became disabled, answer that question. If you don't know the exact date, give the approximate year or say 'from infancy'. But for heaven's sake don't start second-guessing, trying to work out the 'correct' answer according to what you believe they really want to know - you just muddle everything up.
I should have known better than to think people would be kind or helpful.
It might be time to reconsider the welfare system, if anyone needs a helping hand it would be you.
Your last sentence reveals a lot about your general attitude toward people.
And BTW, you don't need to drive to the SS office. If you have a phone, land line or cell, that can work just as well for calling the SS office.