My husband, who is 15 years older than me, is in bad health physically (has prostate cancer) and has some dementia going on. If he ends up in assisted living (which will be private pay as we have LTC insurance) can I seek a divorce? I would like to move on with my life and he wants me too. This may sound harsh but we are realistic. I know I can file for divorce but would like to know about the timing..if we should do it before he ends up in AL or his dementia gets worse.
There's a lot of issues that could get sticky....like a fair division of assets; who will become his DPOA MPOA, etc. IF there are children from prior marriages or assets carried over into this marriage this could be really really sticky to deal.
If a divorce s what you both want you need legal to get on this ASAP.
Oh & about the LTC insurance policy, review it are fully to see what the coverage is. Many require an other pay window (often 90 days) before the LTC will kick in & pay whatever limits are as per policy. His policy limits may not pay for all costs. You may want to look at facilities to see which will provide his care needs and will take LTC insurance. My moms NH did not take LTC insurance as a Payor. What billing told me when I asked as to why.....was that each of the LTC companies had their own different criteria for reinbursement and it was just too paperwork heavy to get paid which was often delayed....that really accepting medicaid was better as the NH was paid like clockwork from the state will no BS once the resident was Medicaid eligible. I have no idea if this (facility's not taking LTC insurance) is a trend or a one off by this NH group.
The problem IMHO is that the costs of long term health care has increased so much from whatever older policy states so that the old policy is pretty useless. Or what it pays is only a fraction of what the monthly cost is & family cannot afford the gap. Or has an increase in policy years & years later that they can't pay as they are now in thier 70's& 80's on fixed income. (on this one there are lots of articles you can google...search genworth increase premiums...to find some & genworth is a really great & solid company so if they need to do this it is not a good sign for lesser ltc insurance companies). Or the policy based on salary range from ages ago and there is no health professional to be found who will accept the low payment. I actually know of a daughter who enrolled in a CNA program to be certified so they could capture the LTC $ both her parents had.....it was the only way to get payment as she was ok in getting the low payment rate but there was no way they could hire a regular CNA as the payment was way below current rates. Her parents policy had a pretty worthless inflation index that didn't start at the terms till they filed on the policy.
We just don't know what health care costs are going to morph into. There is a tsunami of baby boomers who will be needing care. If your likely to have 500k+ you can dedicate to funding your final years, you'll be fine. There are lots of folks who can do this. But otherwise, if they live long enough they will run out of $ and family will run out of ability & humor, and they end up applying for medicaid.
The insurance companies are aware of all this & it's probably why hybrid life insurance policies are now becoming available. Obit time will tell a decade or 2 from how how well those work.
To me your best LTC policy is to stay within weight, get regular exercise, take your meds & never "retire" mentally and be helpful & nice to your kids spouses or partners!
I know New York state is not good.
Michigan has better options.