First tour of a memory care unit. One day I feel it's time to move mom into memory care and then the next I think maybe I can meet her needs better. She is getting harder and harder for me to handle physically. If she ends up on the floor I can not get her up by myself, have to call a neighbor. That doesn't happen often but I have had to call a neighbor on 2 occasions. And the memory care unit I toured was lovely but I'm not sure they can meet her needs. And I'm not sure I'm emotionally ready to let her go. I have several more memory care facilities to tour, I do not want to be rushed but I don't want to be caught in an emergency situation and not have a choice. I'm having trouble letting go and could use some sage advice. Thanks
You will be there, where ever you place her, to check on her, advocate for her needs, and make sure she is being well taken care of.... taking the time to check out facilities is a great idea.... There will be no 'perfect' one, nor will they ever, at their very best, take care of her the way you do.....but then sometimes it isn't about us.... it is what is best for our loved one.... am sending you hugs of comfort and courage to do what you feel is right... whether that be more in home care or placement... please come back and let us know how you are and we will support you thru your choices....
What about having professional caregivers come in to help with a couple of the shifts? Or wouldn't the budget work for that?
Choice is the big thing. My Mom had a serious fall and is now in long term care never to come back home.... her choice was a place that had an empty bed, we had no time to look around. Now my Dad wants to look at Assisted Living so that he can choose what place he would like, or to continue to live in their home with 24-hour caregivers.
My mother with dementia is in a Nursing Home. She is immobile and could never wander and her behavior is very pleasant and cooperative. My friend's mother with dementia has been in Assisted Living. She is reasonably independent, is no wandering risk, and doesn't need extra attention to her behavior. Neither of our mother's need memory care. In fact, being around mostly people who have behavior problems and need extra attention might be detrimental to their calm demeanor.
The Memory unit where my mother is has a better ratio of staff to resident than the NH part where she is. But each staff member has a lot more to do, too, so I don't think my mother would get more attention there. Mom needs to be dressed, helped with hygiene, helped with toileting, wheeled to activities, showered, and put to bed. That works out fine in the regular NH. If she resisted help, fought with the aides, was uncooperative, etc. then she would probably need the extra staff in the Memory unit.
If your mom needs Memory Care, so be it. Find a good one. I'm just pointing out that generally more than half the residents in ALF and NH also have dementia, and those places can handle the "typical" needs.
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