I have medical power of attorney but not a durable POA. I have access to her finances since I'm on her account. She isn't capable of staying alone and has severe memory problems. My husband and I aren't capable of taking care of her any longer. Can she be placed in a long term care facility if she doesn't want to go?
You certainly can determine that you no longer can care for her. Have you talked with you local Area Agency on Aging to determine what her needs Are? Have they and her doctor had this discussion with her?
No parent wants to go to a nursing facility. I had no problem with my Mom. She was told she was going to a new place to live where she would be able to share a room and have lots of people to care for her. Also meet new people.
Mom mother is one of those folks who could worry about ANYTHING. She awfulized every situation.
Antidepressants and antianxiety meds have made her calmer, NOT doped up. You might want to see if these will help
I had to move mom 18 months ago. She still asks when she can go back home 🙄 She too thinks she can take care of herself...but she can't tell you what day it is, what she had for breakfast and so on
I lied to her when we moved her. Believe me it was worse for me than her. She is safe now, she's clean and fed everyday...and best of all she is never alone, which is comforting for me.
Get mom placed ASAP
For yourself and your mom
Sissy
I had exactly the same situation with my mom. She thought she was fine to take care of herself living alone but, at 92 in stage 5 Alzheimer's, she was no longer capable to make the right decisions. She quit bathing. I had to trick her into the facility by saying she had a doctors visit. She had told me, "You'll never put me in one of those places." The anguish I suffered was horrible. The first couple of months were h*ll but she settled in. I could finally sleep through the night instead of worrying if she was doing something dangerous. I had DPOA along with 2 letters from doctors stating her inability to live alone or unmonitored. I never got guardianship but never needed it.
Mamasays,
There is a lot of talk about dementia patients' rights and I agree, they do have rights. They have a right to live securely, and have all their needs met in a nurturing environment. If that means a facility (because the family can't care for her), then that is what you have to do. I would take her there. Tell her to try it for a month. There really is no other choice we have. I don't know if there could be any retribution against you but others might. Thankfully it was never a problem in our situation.