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Yes, in all likelihood she is, especially if she can point to ways in which you have, in the past, been disruptive to your Dad or to the household she and he maintain. She is the lioness at the gate. You should consult an elder law attorney who may suggest mediation, a lawyer letter, etc, but the truth is that she can ask you visit accompanied or not at all.
I would throw myself upon her mercy, tell her you want only to make loving connection to your father, and that you are more than happy to visit only with her in the room with you. I would beg to see my father.
I am so very sorry for all involved. This is not an uncommon situation when the children and the second wife do not get along (or second husband as well). I hope you'll update us if you find a way.
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Legally she probably has the right to do so, but in my experience front line nursing home staff are reluctant to act a bouncers and if you time your visits after office hours (evenings and weekends) chances are high that nobody will challenge you. As long as you are respectful and he enjoys your visits staff may very well welcome you even if they know there is a family dispute, if however, you are demanding and/or disruptive or cause him to become agitated staff will no doubt be more apt to remember and apply the ban.
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